July 5, 2013

I woke up today feeling really tired and weak, as well as having a swollen cheek.  It was time for me to redose my homeopathic remedy and maybe I waited too long, so I had a swelling.

So because of this, making videos today doing commentary was out of the question.

Glad that I had this day because there’s obviously a lot for me to process.

Yesterday, court was out of session due to the 4th of July but I was busy doing some research as well as upset about some things that have come up about the case.

Someone posted that Chris Rock and Jamie Foxx were posting about a Race War and anti-white posts.

This really upset me.  Like really, really upset me.

When I went to their profiles these tweets were deleted, but I went online and did some research.. cause I can remember in passing hearing about Jamie Foxx being a racist — and I started finding all this information.

That upset me again.


Well, here we have two people who are in positions of power and are spreading hate, fear, and anxiety.

They’re also spreading anti-white comments.  That really makes me sad.

This trial has been a real wake up call for me.  How many black people hate white people.  You see it through the twitter feed throughout the trial.

For a white person — or rather, let me just speak for myself as a white person — I would not say anything offensive to black people and if I thought something came out even closely offensive I would explain what it meant to not be taken wrong.

But here these people don’t even think twice.  Throwing around cracka comment.  I’ll get to this in my next post from today, issues that upset me…

I used to think that people in power — people who had more success than me were smarter… and I don’t know what else.. I guess I thought they were better than me.  Knew more than me, etc.

Now I see there are plenty of people in power who are wounded, filled with anger, hate, and un-evolved.

Makes me feel 1) how needed my work is needed

as well as 2) alone, because I see how I am the minority in how I think.  It’s different.  A new perspective.  An evolved, enlightened perspective.

And I’ve also seen how not everyone appreciates that or wants to hear that.

So no wonder I had a swelling today… I was worrying last night about how stupid our society is, how uneducated, how racist, etc… and all the white hate.

Makes me very sad.  Concerned.  Worried.  And yes, I know I should be praying rather than worrying, but this just got me so sad yesterday.  Feeling hopeless.