May 17, 2013

So I was totally lit up by my conversation with the TV exec on Monday (which it feels like weeks ago by now!) but yesterday I started getting a bit doubtful.

Questioning if he was going to email me to set up another time to talk.

Some “red flags” showing up.  Nothing of immediate concern but things to watch and to ask about. To learn more about him.

I think I got a bit caught up in my excitement — and I still am proud of myself for keeping myself in the game with him, keeping powerful, etc — very proud of myself — but I do see that maybe I was talking too much.

See this is the thing with me, that I notice… the doubt that creeps in after an initial session or after this time of meeting.  The “does s/he like me” kind of feeling.

With some people I can stay totally detached.  With others, like this situation — something — tv that I want “so bad” — I notice how my faith started to waiver.

So I’m praying for my spirits to stay high.

Praying for detachment.

Praying to stay HIGH in energy.

I’m going to do some manifestation stuff today to keep things rolling.

Detachment.

It’s not HIM who will “make this” for me.  It’s me, my energy, my desires.

This is going to happen for me right now, because I say so.

I noticed how my thoughts — victim mentality — went into a “maybe he’s not right” — or “maybe it’s not the right time” — or “maybe it’s not meant to be”

BULLSHIT.

It’s the right time cause I say it’s the right time.

I’m still moving forward.