January 27, 2013
A lot of very strange and so very magical things are happening with the writing of my 3rd book, which again I think may be the first one that gets published.
I want to write each day to find out how the story ends. Even though I KNOW how my relationship with my ex has ended, it still feels like there’s more to it – and I also see how that relationship is changing as I write.
It’s a bit hard to explain, so many eerie things have been happening. I could be in an episode of the twilight zone 🙂 and of course I’m curious what is happening in his life.. but I know since we are connected, since we are Twin Flames, interesting / weird / magical things must be happening on his end as well.
The realization that I got today – well one of them – was that through this story, I am having my 2nd (millionth) chance with him. My chance to right history. Not write it.. but right it, in my eyes of course.
I realized today that this last week 1/2 I have been having a relationship with him again. Reliving these memories, etc as I write… and it has been taking over my life.. just like he took over my life when I met him a little over 3 years ago.
He took all of my energy.
So is the writing of this book.
I couldn’t think of anything else.
Same with the writing of this book.
I neglected my exercise and diet.
Same with the writing of this book.
I would have vivid dreams / maybe nightmares while with him and wake up tired.
Same with the writing of this book.
Barely functional.
Same with the writing of this book
I realized today that I have been neglecting other things in my life this 2nd (millionth) time with him. My sleep schedule has been off. No exercise. Bad diet. Worn. And very emotional.
All like when we were having our crazy relationship over these last three years.
Now I’m given my 2nd (millionth) opportunity to be with him (even if it is now just through writing, although I do think there will be more to this story that unfolds…
and I’m going to do it different.
I am going to re-write my wrongs (as I see them, but of course things worked out perfectly because it healed me of relationship patterns and brought me into a space of enlightenment)
I am going to do this new relationship with him (this book… are you following, I know it’s a bit “weird”) in a balanced manner. In a healthy way.
I’ll have a relationship with him in a way that he doesn’t dominate my life – demand all of my attention – suck me of life force, like he did when we were together.
How very interesting.
Wow, what a wild and crazy time we’re living in. So freakin’ amazing and magical.
— I also want to say that Magic has been throwing up once a day since I started writing this book (I’m pretty sure that’s when it happened) – and I can’t help but think that’s related to the too extreme of emotions I’ve been feeling.
That needs to be handled.. with me
— I have been having nonstop England / British signs the last 4 or so days. Uncanny.
Again, something more than meets the eye is going on.
— You change one thing / person in the relationship… and the relationship changes.