June 10, 2013

So it’s been sinking in more and more what I received from my dad.  And it’s a lot.  It’s actually many if not all of the things that I love about myself, I realize I get from my dad.

Using that exercise from yesterday… cause I like using the term BLAME, since I was using it negatively before.

I blame my dad for my high level of sensitivity (I realize he’s like this too, I get this from him)

I blame my dad for my high drive to succeed (I get this from him too, he’s just like this)

I blame my dad for my higher education, for encouraging me on and believing in me (he always wanted me to do this…)

I blame my dad for my high level of creativity… for my drawing ability.. the great ability to copy pictures… my singing and songwriting ability…. my skill with words.  (this is all him, it’s all me too)

I blame my dad for more creativity… the great ability to cook creative dishes (again, I get this from him)

He’s a really creative guy — me too, I get this from him.

I blame my dad for my playful nature (just like my dad)

I blame my dad for my serious nature (just like my dad)

I blame my dad for my high intelligence (again, just like dad)

I blame my dad for my love of animals (he will watch animals on tv in their natural habitat for hours and I always thought this was boring — but look at me, I love doing this too.. but in person) 🙂

I blame my dad for passing down healing (I’m a healer, just like he is)

I blame my dad for his great sense of humor / he’s funny (and so am I)

I didn’t realize I get all these things from my dad that I love so much about myself.

I realize I’m not such an anomaly from my family…. but really just like them with many things.

I blame my dad for my intense power and strength.

Makes me feel closer to him and more love for him.

With that said, I still don’t know if I will call or email him this week for his birthday.  I had a dream about him and my mom last night and it reminded me of some things that I don’t like about him…

There was HUGE butterflies in the dream, like I’ve never seen before and this made me think of me — how I am growing bigger than I ever imagined as I start to shine my light more and more.

On another but related note, my guides, AA (archangels), g-ddesses, AM (ascended masters), keep saying to not let insecurity hold me back, to let my light shine, that I want to be bigger and serve more… but I also feel like, okay, well what do you want me to do today then? What should I do?  This has been an ongoing thing for a month or actually several months… what am I supposed to do then?  I think this just has to do with a willingness and a way of being, but still I don’t know what I’m supposed to do 🙂 hehe.  Do vs Be.