June 30, 2013

Well, woke up around an hour ago and already started on my routine of “What should I do?” and “I’m bored.”

Spirit keeps giving me messages that I’ve already “won” what I desire…. and to let it come to me.

Let it come to me, means basically to be patient and hold the vision of what I want.  To let struggle and trying hard go.

But this is on the border of frustration for me already.  It’s something I want so bad and I’m told to “hang out” basically.  There’s anxiety there — then that leads to restlessness — and boredom.

Astrologically it seems like a lot is going on for me in the sign of Cancer (my sun sign is Cancer) so I was told that that could be related to my restlessness feelings.

I was also told that Jupiter went into Cancer (I think that’s what she said) which means that this year is going to be a really good year.  That’s awesome… but again it puts me in that zone of “can it happen now — I’m so fucking bored”

So I told myself can we please not say “I’m bored” today.

Can we just be in the moment — and when we’re in the moment we’re not bored.

I said alright and went outside for a walk with Magic.

While outside a new song came to me as it frequently does…

This time the song was…. “I’ve arrived…. I survived… I’ve arrived”

Something like that.  It didn’t make too much sense, but basically it said — I’ve arrived.

Then my guides said to me, “Blaire, if you knew this was all going to come together in 2 weeks, how would you act today?”

And I said, “I’d be happy”

“Well, then be fucking happy!”

Haha.  My guides are awesome.

Okay.  Thanks for the reminder… again.

I bought goggles yesterday — hopefully the ocean is normal and I’ll go swimming, look at the fish.  That will be nice.

The idea is to have lots of daytime activity so I’m not bored as shit at night — and instead just tired.

The thing that has been upsetting to me is that I haven’t been in the mood to think of my TV show, and that concerns me because I feel I should have something ready for when an exec contacts me.

The truth is, I just have no idea how it will happen these days with the TV thing…

But I guess that’s the whole point.  It’s not my job to have an idea.

G-d knows and that’s enough.

Deep breathe in….and out.  Okay….

Please make today a happy one.  Please give me patience, courage, and strength.  Crazy how I’m praying to get through the day in good spirits… but I am.

Please help me.

And yes, I’m grateful for this time in my life.

I keep singing “Time — time is on my side” (rolling stones)

Haha.  That’s for sure.  I have plenty of it!

(I liked it better when it was G-d is on my side — I’ll have to actively change the lyrics if/when it comes up again)

In any event, thank you