April 8, 2013

The other thing that comes up here is the setting and respecting of boundaries, which they have none… and most of my students don’t.

Why do I teach about this?  Because this is a big lesson for me in life as well.  So don’t think I am judging — I was there too.

This is a pattern that people experience all their life  – having people step over their boundaries.  So in return they step all over other people’s boundaries.

They don’t respect people’s time.  They don’t respect the energy they pick up from other people — (psychically they sense “hey, you’re stepping over my boundary or I don’t want to talk to you anymore) – and they keep moving forward, pushing their agenda.  Cause the feeling, the need, the trying to get more energy, to control, to be in power.  This is a form of abuse.  Super subtle and happens all the time, but there you go…

It’s time to for me to bring it up.

This person will spend the whole session in silence listening or talking about what’s going on in their life — and never bring anything up — no remaining questions… until the session is complete and you get up and go to walk away and then they are like…. one last question.

There is always a desire for more talk time.  A needing of it.  A sucking at it.  I have been polite by not saying it, but obviously this person feels this energy from me by their comment, you’re all business.

So the other thing that has been keeping me from mentioning it to this person besides the

— I know it’s going to trigger them big time

— I have been trying to be polite (old patterning of being nice)

— the other thing that kept me from mentioning it all this time is something that I’m a little embarrassed to say — but I need to, I need to bring light to it.  And that’s because they were paying me to learn.  It was money coming in.  I feel shameful saying this, but I also recognize that this is how many people operate, and would have been quiet just like me, and I realize that this takes great courage and strength for me to mention it here – to bring it to the light.  And this is something I want to offer myself, the freedom from the shame, and it’s something I want to model for you, my reader / students reading this because it comes up in ANY FIELD you are in.

But I am going to mention it too, it’s time.

I also realize and this was something else I was picking up, is that this person thinks that these sessions are for my benefit somehow. And yes, I get satisfaction and money from each session I do with students… but the reason why they are coming to me is for THEIR BENEFIT.

And this has been something else I’ve been picking up, which again I’ve kept silent cause I again know it’ll trigger them, get them angry, I don’t want to be the target of that or around that – I am not in this business to be abused by my students.

But I see how in some way I am.  I have been letting this happen.

Because I notice the appreciation is not there when comments like this come out of their mouth. I also realize the appreciation is not there when they sit there and are judging and questioning everything I say.

This person has changed soo much, but there is no credit given.  This person should be jumping off the ceilings, going crazy in appreciation of what I have helped them do, and although there are some comments — it’s not at the level of what I am wanting for my students / this dynamic I am setting up.

This has to do with attracting very critical students.  Something else from my childhood wounding that was passed onto me.  But it’s time for me to change this pattern too.

Expect more from my students.

I give so much time and energy — and there are huge changes with EVERYONE within 2 months or a little more — this is super fast, but instead of recognizing these huge changes and jumping for joy and telling the whole world about me — they focus on the money.

How much it’s costing them — and how I am taking this from them…. maybe not exact thoughts, but I know it’s something similar.

They focus on it still not being good enough.

Now I know this has more to do with their critical nature / them being hard on themselves, but it effects me.  It hurts my feelings.  I know this healing is about THEM and not me but I am human and it makes me feel good to be thanked and recognized — it makes me want to give more.  It makes me feel happy about the person.  It makes me … yes, again… give more.

Interesting stuff coming up yesterday and today — thank you.

Upgrading it all.

Welcoming in more appreciative students.  Higher vibrational students.  As my energy has risen, so is my business.  I have suffered enough.  Thank you