May 30, 2013

Yesterday I posted this note in one of my online groups — and I love the outpouring of support I got.  It reminded me of the answer that I was posing to myself yesterday as well….

Why I do this.

Why I share my journey.  (more on this in a minute, for now let me share what I posted and what people wrote)

Here’s what I posted, followed by what people wrote:

Okay – so it’s time for me to start dressing the way I have always envisioned myself dressing while teaching…. it’s a bit outrageous. A costume look — and a real performance / entertainment feel when I teach. This makes me very excited — very very happy because it’s fun and uplifting and totally different and again, something I’ve been dreaming about for a really long time — but it’s also a bit concerning. Some fear to clear out. Time to really be seen. The fun goes to another level, now. 🙂 Of course I welcome your blessings in this transition. Exciting!!!! Thanks!

GO for it – the REAL YOU!!! Blessings indeed!!

You GO girl, BE you and feel good being yourself!!

Blessings. Love to see stepping into their power. It’s so inspiring.

rest assured if it is a costume type outfit or a business suit it is all dressing go for the dressing up that you like xx


To receive these comments of support made me really happy.  I could feel everyone’s heart in their sharing.  It also brought to my awareness — reminded me of the reasons why I share.

For awhile there I was going through a transition, angry at people who followed my work.  Upset that I was sharing and they were just observing.  Not giving anything back.  There are still people like that – many people — but there are a few lessons to learn that I’ve learned here.

1)  If someone is reading my journey and being inspired by it and not saying anything, that’s there stuff.  Their own internal reasons or insecurities, etc on why they are not sharing gratitude for inspiration, wisdom, etc.

2) This was irritating me because there were a lot of numbers of people watching and not supporting – not through their heart by making comments, replying to encourage or say thank you or whatever — and they weren’t supporting by paying money.  This upset me.  I was sharing — giving, giving, giving and not getting anything back.

3)  The other issue here with money is that this is what I do as a profession.  So if people are not paying, not enrolling in something, then where am I making money from?  How am I supporting myself?  Am I to get another job?  This is a shame.  I think.

So I started holding back.  This didn’t make me happy.  And I see people’s reactions to the stuff I share now.  They like it.  More people comment.  This is what people like.  I think it’s what they want.

4)  One of the person’s comments above made me remember why I do this work.  Why I was doing it in the past — to inspire people.  To lift them up, educate, empower them, help them rise, as I rise.  By sharing my story.

That is why I do it.

So now the question is how do I 1) sell this to a tv network so these things are documented while they are happening and I’m getting paid to do so


2) how do I transition into having people pay for my blog.  This blog.  The story here.

Also, something that I notice is that each time I go to leave one of these posts open so others can read it… like I was going to do with this post, I quickly shut it down and didn’t want to.  It was too personal to share.  I didn’t want to expose myself.  I seem to only share parts online like that.  They can sign on here to get the behind the scenes, more details.  I think that makes sense.

Again, the thought comes to me to open part of the post and encourage people to join the adventure — and they only get access to the most current posts.

But again…. when I think about this, that means I need to change my style of writing — maybe (?) to not be so revealing.

There’s fear that pops up.

Hmm… maybe the way I’m sharing is perfect for how I am sharing now.

Little bits and pieces.  I don’t think I want to share all of it right now — I keep seeing myself doing it as a confessional on camera in between action scenes like going shopping for dresses.

PS:  The number sequences continue, I just haven’t been talking about them much here anymore. All yesterday I was seeing :22 and :44 non-stop on the clock!  22 has to do with divine mission, 44 has to do with angels around me and creating a plan / structure — ahh, which is exactly what I’ve been doing these days.  Both of them.  Creating a plan on releasing my divine mission.