February 15, 2014
I thought I’d update this blog since my story continued after the last JULY 2013 post and I have since evolved and expanded even more.
I’m not 100% of all I wrote in the previous posts so I apologize in advance if I am repeating myself here. I read back over some of the posts, but in order for me to truly remember where I was back then and my thought process I would have to read through much more — which I have not done.
So let’s see…
First off, I saw something in one of my recent posts from July that I was finding it funny that I was a “white” leader and that I never saw myself as that… I realize now that is not what I am. I’m a leader who supports equality for all. I realize that many people are in this wounding thought process around race and I am able to see this clearer than others.
So although some black people may think I hate them or am against them, it’s really that I support them being white people’s equal. Not better than, not worse than — our equal.
Actually as I write this, I’m sure I must have written about this before and I know I have spoken about this in my videos, so I suggest you watch through those if you haven’t.
Next, and I’m not sure if I wrote about this, but in 2013 I became enlightened. This is something Spirit told me I was — to my surprise, as I never was seeking that or knew it was possible.
You become enlightened when you heal through all your wounds and are able to see the world clearly, rather than through old programming and old wounding.
For a few months after my last post in July I continued sharing and teaching on YouTube about current events and race issues. And then I got fed up with it and felt frustrated that again I was giving my work away for free and not valuing it. So I stopped sharing.
I was also having signs and meeting people that were good contacts (I thought) to help me bring my work to the next level. That hasn’t materialized just yet, but I decided to stop posting the videos and focus on my Love Guru business. In the end, I need to do work that is providing money for me, where it is valued, and there is an exchange of energy happening.
This has been difficult for me throughout the months/years to find that balance of sharing — sharing too much — and feeling “stuck” in the projects I’ve been doing as some of them are media related and my work is out of the box for a lot of current established media outlets.
I realize now that my work is still molding and that I will find a perfect match — a perfect platform — for my work, where I’ll get paid well and be able to be the creator, producer and host like I want to be. Again, that’s not usually typical when you join forces with an ABC or NBC – something along those lines. I have a big vision and desire a lot of involvement, since this is my project and a different style than we see out there.
Along the way I had idea for a reality TV show that I did a kickstarter campaign for.
That didn’t work as I thought — well, I didn’t think I’d raise the money that way, but did think I’d attract an investor (I was in talks with one through another contact that didn’t pan out) — but I did raise 33.33 which is a mystical number and one of manifestation, so I’m happy about that.
The point here is this — I’ve realized to not give up on your dream. What’s in your heart. Ever.
I’ll talk more about this in the next post….