March 18, 2014

Well here I am, with lots to say but I woke up not wanting to get dressed, not wanting to go through the effort of making another video.

It takes a lot of energy to do a video — research, preparation, time, energy — it’s a lot and today, it’s raining and a chill day (one of the few we get) and I don’t feel like getting out of my pj’s — don’t feel like showering right now — don’t feel like blow drying my hair – getting dressed – putting on makeup…

So as much as I would like to be seen, share my views, have the spotlight, enlighten people, be in the glory, I just don’t feel like doing — I just can’t make myself do it — I won’t make myself do it.

So I’m not.

It’s sad to that part of me that wants to share and do what I am meant to do in this world.

And yes, the fear part of me says, hey you’re holding yourself back… keep doing your mission… you’re getting noticed now… you’re being respected now….

But the fact remains I am giving out more than I am receiving.

This is a dilemma I have been through many times before.

So much I want to share, yet how am I being compensated.

It’s a merry go round that I need to get off. ¬†That sometimes I do get off — but then miss it or insecurity or fear or who knows what, I get back on.

But today — thank g-d for the weather I’m not doing it.

I tweeted out my passion instead…

Hehe.

Screen shot 2014-03-18 at 9.05.23 AM