June 13, 2013

Maybe one has to totally detach from everything they did in their business in order to recreate and rise?

I’m done with Facebook and this is what I learned.

I was on Facebook for business.

I hated it most of the time I was on there.  A like/hate relationship.

I would advertise my business, but not much would come back for me.

But yet I kept signing on and working at it.

I started working harder at it.

Other people are on here promoting their business… it seems to work for them… why not for me.

I worked harder.

I got exhausted.

I built up more hate — and resentment.

But I kept doing it.

Sharing my heart.

Being vulnerable.

Trying different ways to get people’s attention.

Figured that something would convert people, but nothing.

Fuck that.

But I kept going back.

Why would someone do that?

it’s a conditioning that I have from when I was a little girl.

To keep trying and trying and trying… even though something is not working.

Even though you’re not getting results you want.  The attention you desire.

I’m happy that this has ended.

This pattern.

That’s the thing, I didn’t even notice I was in the cycle.

Happy to be done with it.

I felt like I was always “on” there.  Always working.  Always teaching.  Always trying to get people to sign up.  But again, it wasn’t working.

What a fucking waste of time and energy.

Plus just look what I was doing to myself all these years.

Following the crowd.

Trying to work at something that wasn’t working.

I need to forgive myself.  I’m so sorry Blaire.

I’m also grateful it’s done with.

I don’t miss it or those people at all.

I was looking at the experts out there that I admire and I don’t want to be like them like this.. working on there all the time.  At everyone’s beck and call?  For what?  The price of a book.

That’s not worth it.

Fuck that.

That’s not the new wave of business.  Constantly sharing information for free?

Working for free?

Some people would say you’re there to build community.

I wasn’t building community.

Some say I was there to build trust.

I think by looking at my site you see I’m trustworthy.

If people want help, they know where to find me.

I don’t need to be their friend and respond to them all the time, monitor my page all the time and share information all the time so they will remember me — so I will be on their mind all the time.

Fuck that.

I don’t need to work that hard.

And no one does.

Also people have this expectancy, this entitlement that you are going to post free information.  That’s why you “like” someone’s page.  To get more free shit.

Fuck that again.

I’m not interested in being part of that world.

Even with me sharing about my lifestyle, I’m teaching.

Even when I’m sharing my opinions on articles or current events, I’m teaching.

Fuck that.  Fuck that. Fuck that.

I go where I am valued, where I am needed, where I am wanted, where I am paid for my gifts.

So grateful for this writing job, totally writing about an unexpected thing, but I am so grateful.  More on this later.