February 18, 2013

I find myself asking myself this question a lot.  What do I want?  It’s like a little game — a back and forth chit chat game I’ve been playing with my guides.

Blaire, so what do you want?

And then I will say something, like a regular paying writing gig for a magazine or newspaper.

But then I say… well, I don’t know if this is what I really want.  Sure, I’d like it.  I would feel more upgraded to have it and sure I can do it… but do I really want it?

And the answer is, not really.  It’s probably a money thing.

I think of what would really JAZZ me?  What would really make me feel excited, more expanded, and fully alive?

And that’s being on TV.  Being in the spotlight, reaching many, many people.

But now even writing this, I think — well what would I speak about?

I know this may be fearful thinking — and right, I wouldn’t be doing this for free — so I would be honored for my work, being compensated, so yes, this would be good.

I love dressing up, putting on makeup, and I love being in front of the camera.

I love it.

And so many times I am watching some TV or Film and thinking, I can do that — I should be the one being interviewed for my process in creating it.

I know this is the path for me.

And then I think I’d like a few more paying weekly clients.  I love working one on one with students. It’s so rewarding and I feel alive doing that.  Really feel like I’m making a difference in this world – because I am.

And this is how the game goes, on and on, almost every single day and sometimes several times in a day.

This is a good sign.  Spirit warming me up for good stuff.  Getting me thinking and clarifying.

This game always ends in the same way…. Bring me what you want me to do.  I know Spirit and I are on the same side, and they know where I am most needed and what I most enjoy.  I trust you — bring me what YOU want.

Thank you