June 8, 2013

There was a scene in that Wendy YouTube clip where you see her dancing with her crew behind the scenes.  You see her getting ready for the show.

Then you see her standing on the star and getting ready for the doors to open.  For it to be showtime.

This scene still overwhelms me.  The amount of light.  The amount of shining that one needs to do.

And I need to prepare myself.

On a lot of these shows you see the guest come dancing out to see the host.  They all give this cool strut – this is the time where you need to really be full of yourself.  You really need to have it together.  You have to be fearless and unafraid.  And besides all of that — you have to really let it shine.  You have to take your personality up to a 100th percent and go out there – do dance moves, smile and wave to the crowd, dance, and feel really confident and cool that everyone really likes you.

One time, years ago,during the marryblaire website I was invited to do an auction.  Where they were auctioning me off.

It was the most embarrassing, terrifying thing I ever did.

I tried to be cool — but I was in this stage, this pit in the middle of the room and everyone was looking at me… like there’s that marryblaire girl — at least thats what I thought they were saying… all looking and judging and I was sooo embarrassed.

I think I even cried afterwards because it was so terrifying.

But this is something I have to get okay with.  I think I’m going to practice it around my apartment. 🙂 lol.  Going to practice it in my meditations.

It’s one of those things… that when you go on these shows, you need to be fully confident and sure of yourself.

You need to have the mindset — the knowing — that everyone knows you (when people in the audience will most likely NOT know who I am when I’m first starting) —

You have to have the mindset, the confidence , the knowing — that everyone likes you, admires you, and wants to be your friend.

You have to have the mindset, the confidence, the knowing that everyone thinks your cool… that you are cool.. and that you are liked.

You have to go out there with the game face.

And more than that, for me, I need to believe it.  I need to know it.  I need to embody it.

It’s an energetic thing.

And what else can I say?  It scares me.  it’s a different mindset for me.  It’s a mindset that I need to let go of all my self defeating thoughts.  It’s a mindset that I need to step into fully and completely.  And I will just continue to get myself ready for this.

When I was watching the Wendy interview of Alyssa Milano (she has a new show out Mistresses) — my guides said, “you ready to sit on that couch?  you ready to be interviewed?”

And I got nervous and totally ignored what the guides said and continued to think and do something else.  But I heard them.

Of course this makes me happy — but wow, you see how nervous and scared I am?

Really incredible.

Who would have thought?

I need to get to a place of comfort with this.

Not only are you walking out like this.. but there is a live audience.  You really need to embody these thoughts and this energy.  Guides, angels, AA, AM, ancestors, animal family, please continue to help me with this.  Thank you.  Amen.