June 21, 2013

So today at UHaul I found out that my car can’t have an attachment to it to drag some items (which I kind of already knew) — and they quoted me a price for a truck with an attachment to tow my car which would be something like $1,300 for 9 days.

But this doesn’t work.  Because #1 I was never planning on driving a truck cross country and #2 I was planning on doing a longer trip — 3 to 4 weeks would be nice.

And I don’t think I want to bring all my items from here.

It’s a couch, a mattress and boxspring, a tv stand / entertainment center.  That’s the majority of my furniture if I was to take it.  So not worth the $1,300 although it does give me a more stable car to drive…. and allows me to sleep at ease with the items packed in the back of the truck.

I don’t know….

I guess we’ll leave it as a possibility.

But then I decided to call the airline.  Well ends up tickets are REALLY CHEAP.  Like $200.  Not even kidding.  That’s cheaper than a flight for me to go up north!  Really crazy.

But I don’t think Magic is of size to come on the plane with me…

Unless I get him coming with me as an emotional needs dog or a service dog which I have to look into.

And that means I would ship my car, which would be around $1,000.

So that’s around $1,200 and would be totally worth it.


That means I would be abandoning the vision of taking an adventure and although it seems like a “no brainer” and super easy to go this route… it’s also MUCH cheaper to fly and ship my car… I would be abandoning the vision of adventure.

But I also was dealing with lots of worries about the drive.

So now it’s a question of am I shopping by price — or time/adventure.

Actually the drive is going to be MUCH, MUCH more expensive, since there’s hotel expenses, gas, food, incidentals.

It actually seems kind of stupid for me to drive now.

Unless of course I get sponsored for like $10,000 and then it would be totally worth it.

Gosh, I need to up my faith that a magazine will sponsor me.

Although the trip brought up major fears for me, I was also looking forward to getting over them.

Doing something I’ve never done before.

Because what happens if I take a plane?

It’s like I get on — and then 5 hours later – I’m there.  (the flight seems to be shorter from here to LA than what I’m used to from NYC to LA)  Interesting.

So that’s kind of weird to me too.

To just arrive and then you are there.

I don’t think I’m ready or even eager to JUST be there.

I was looking forward to being IN the experience.

To thinking during my drive.

Looking forward to being proud of myself for traveling so far (spiritually, emotionally)

I think this is a symbolic journey for me.  The word “pilgrimage” has been in my mind lately having to do with this trip.

I just looked it up to see how it’s “officially” defined and it says:

A journey – usually a long one – to a sacred place or shrine.

And that’s what it is.

I feel like it’s a removing of the old.  Symbolically saying goodbye to all of that, my old life, the old me.  Leaving all my belongings behind and stepping into that new me, my new life  – my dream life.

I’ll also tell you something else that touched me in a different, special way today.

It was when I was looking up prices on Virgin Atlantic for a flight to LA — and it said, enjoy your trip to the city of angels.

Now I knew this is what LA is called — but I couldn’t stop staring at the writing on the screen.

The land of the angels.  Angels.

That’s everything to me.

It’s also the land where dreams come true.

The land where everyone goes to be a star.

Of course that’s significant to me too — but that City of Angels reference, really touched me special this time.

Okay — so no judgment, no decisions – we’ll see what more information comes next.

Also, if I were to decide to fly then that makes me feel upset for the research I did today with all the magazines I wanted to go after to sponsor and pick up my story.  That really made me excited, even if the “long” drive does not.

So… okay… no decisions.

I will prepare some information this weekend and pitch editors next week.  Maybe for a change, send some pitch packets in the mail.

PS:  This is a case where getting somewhere faster is not always better.  I think for this move it’s important for energy to leave me… and for there to be a “getting to” feeling on my journey there.  I’m not ready or interested or excited about being there so fast.  There’s a desire, a need for a transition to get there.

Interesting… totally different energy from my move to FL, where i was more than happy to hop on a plane, get here, and be in FL right away.

Here, a place where I so want to go and a life I so want to live and step into, I’m more into the transition phase.  Having that experience…