November 17, 2012
I’m pretty sure I’ve said in several recent posts how the energy has been so different these days. I have been getting guidance to change certain habits that I’ve done for years. Just this week Spirit said to me “Spend less time on the computer”
I knew that was coming. I’ve been feeling the urgings for awhile, but this past week it was pretty firm. It’s also come to a point that at times I can’t even be on the computer, I will energetically feel repulsed from it. Drained. Or weird energy, I just need to be away.
More walks and more time just sitting in nature.
My human self feels concerned. Has been wanting to go to the next level, but a little unsure as to what to do with all this extra time I will now have.
Sit in nature? Won’t that be boring? Spend more time thinking? Or in “no mind?” How can I do it? Panicky…. the saying goodbye to the old me, hello to the new me.
Same deal with TV. Less TV watching has happened. I cancelled my TV subscription about a year ago. I didn’t miss it. Then I thought it was the best thing I ever did. Then I started watching more of it (through my HDMI cable which hooked up to the TV) – and now I’m down to two 1 hour shows that I will watch during the week… again, with panicky feelings as to “What am I to do at night?”
I feel bored at times.
Restless at others.
I used to read so much. I still go to that “old” habit, but can never get through a book anymore. I start reading a book, get through maybe 1-2 pages and then again, energetically so turned off.
My Spirit doesn’t want me reading anymore. It tells me I know it already. I used to read things to just get the info in my brain… but now my Spirit rejects that.
It tells me “enough” — time to learn a new way. It’s overload already.
Spend time with myself, in nature, do more artwork. BE.
I feel concerned. Unsure. Lost.
I miss my old distractions. My old ways of being. “What am I to do with my time?” “How boring” “What an alternative lifestyle”
But I know it’s for my highest good.
Go into nature. Be with nature. Hang out with Spirit. I feel bored. I want more. I end up spending hours on the couch watching stupid things that I don’t give a shit about. But what’s the alternative? Staying in the state of the unknown… My feeling is that this week will be different from all the past ones.
I know it will be good.
Just trying to understand the new me. Trying to understand WHAT TO DO with the NEW me. We’ll see..