November 17, 2012

I’m pretty sure I’ve said in several recent posts how the energy has been so different these days.  I have been getting guidance to change certain habits that I’ve done for years.  Just this week Spirit said to me “Spend less time on the computer”

I knew that was coming.  I’ve been feeling the urgings for awhile, but this past week it was pretty firm.  It’s also come to a point that at times I can’t even be on the computer, I will energetically feel repulsed from it.  Drained. Or weird energy, I just need to be away.

More walks and more time just sitting in nature.

My human self feels concerned.  Has been wanting to go to the next level, but a little unsure as to what to do with all this extra time I will now have.

Sit in nature?  Won’t that be boring?  Spend more time thinking?  Or in “no mind?”  How can I do it?  Panicky…. the saying goodbye to the old me, hello to the new me.

Same deal with TV.  Less TV watching has happened.  I cancelled my TV subscription about a year ago.  I didn’t miss it.  Then I thought it was the best thing I ever did.  Then I started watching more of it (through my HDMI cable which hooked up to the TV) – and now I’m down to two 1 hour shows that I will watch during the week… again, with panicky feelings as to “What am I to do at night?”

I feel bored at times.

Restless at others.

I used to read so much.  I still go to that “old” habit, but can never get through a book anymore.  I start reading a book, get through maybe 1-2 pages and then again, energetically so turned off.

My Spirit doesn’t want me reading anymore.  It tells me I know it already.  I used to read things to just get the info in my brain… but now my Spirit rejects that.

It tells me “enough”  — time to learn a new way.  It’s overload already.

Spend time with myself, in nature, do more artwork.  BE.

I feel concerned.  Unsure.  Lost.

I miss my old distractions.  My old ways of being.  “What am I to do with my time?”  “How boring” “What an alternative lifestyle”

But I know it’s for my highest good.

Go into nature.  Be with nature.  Hang out with Spirit.  I feel bored.  I want more.  I end up spending hours on the couch watching stupid things that I don’t give a shit about.  But what’s the alternative?  Staying in the state of the unknown… My feeling is that this week will be different from all the past ones.

I know it will be good.

Just trying to understand the new me.  Trying to understand WHAT TO DO with the NEW me.  We’ll see..