May 20, 2013
So lately, within the last couple of days people have been sharing with me how they love my tough love / straight to the point approach.
I used to watch these tough love type of dating shows on TV and thought the people / the experts were dicks or bitches. Too hard core and in your face. Not nice and doing it just for TV.
And of course it makes for good TV. To be real upfront and have these reactions from people.
But for me, that’s not why I do what I do.
I do it because it’s how my approach has just evolved. It’s my personality, which before I was too afraid to hurt people’s feelings.
It was weaker boundaries that I had. And also this — yes, again – fear of people not liking me and afraid to hurt people’s feelings. Them being sensitive and being hurt and I didn’t want to do that.
But now I see how I wasn’t really helping them by not telling them what I was really feeling.
Maybe by coddling them. You’ve seen this with things I’ve shared with past students.
I realize that this has all been a process for me, a journey — and that the reason why it’s taken me so long to find “my tribe” was because I really wasn’t expressing myself in my business life as the true me…. although again I never realized I wasn’t.
I was too mousy, scared, quiet, introverted.
Now I’m appreciating and nurturing standing my ground, being powerful, being who I am, and telling it like I see it.
It feels good. Less a crunching of my energy inside, feeling weird – and just laying it out there, letting it out. Again, not with mean intentions… but I guess, just being more real.
BTW, I need to get back into studying these numbers. So many interesting number concoctions lately. 11’s all over the place, which I take as new beginnings and yes, watch my thoughts. Yesterday 11’s were ridiculous…. 11:11AM… then loads of 1’s everywhere… then 1:11PM… just nonstop.
The cool thing too was that yesterday I went to talk to my new tree friends by my home (so grateful I finally connected with some special trees at my home that I can talk to) — so I walked there, asked for their help with my expo, etc… and then as I was walking back home, they said — look, there’s our bonzai tree for you. And it was this huge tree planted in the ground — huge, big. Remember, bonzai tree is for luck and good fortune… and they said, there you go. They wanted to give me one that was a million times the size of the bonzai tree my neighbor was going to give me.. which I was upset (kind of) about not receiving. Now I get to see my bonzai tree each day. Very surreal day yesterday! Very surreal.
Ohh, funny also cause was talking to G-d yesterday and right as I was doing that… GOD passed me on a license plate. HOW RANDOM!!! and GOD sticker on a building that I passed. Strange, right. INCREDIBLE synchronicities! Spirit all around me!! FOR REAL!