March 19, 2014
I’ve noticed that I’m relating — or rather reacting or responding to people differently.
I notice over the last week or so that I automatically am taking care of myself more — not feeling bad for people, or forsaking my feelings for how I am to help others / comfort them.
Let me give an example.
The other day I was in Whole Foods and I was picking up some Coconut Water. A quick pick up and leave the aisle. But this lady started trying to talk to me about how she doesn’t like regular water and how coconut water, just putting a dash in regular water helps her drink water.
But here’s the deal, I don’t care.
Now this may sound cold, but it is what it is. My response was just to barely look at her, look in the other direction and basically ignore her.
Again, this doesn’t sound nice in telling the story to you… but again, it is what it is, I’ve noticed the change in me.
Then last night, this annoying needy old perverted man always bothers me and hangs around me with his dog, trying to get our dogs to play.
But the guy totally creeps me out. He thinks dirty thoughts and it’s disgusting. Makes me totally uncomfortable. I don’t like the guy — at all.
And he hasn’t gotten the hint — from my nonverbals.
This has been for months.
Well, last night he snuck up on me and my dog — I was laying on a pool chair — I was trying to hold my dog back — and I told the guy to please keep walking.
He stayed there. Just looked at me, letting his dog come closer to play.
So I said it again — firmly — please keep walking.
So he did.
And I was like — wow, Blaire — you’re really in your power, standing up — caring for your feelings more than other people’s feelings.
The thing here is I’m tired of having my stomach cringe and feeling very uncomfortable while someone else feels okay stepping over my boundaries. I’m just not letting it happen anymore.
And I’m grateful.
Plus it’s not even something I think about — it’s been happening automatically — I’ve just been opening my mouth and asserting myself.
Good for you Blaire 🙂
Here is my long awaited interview — that I’ve been waiting 1 1/2 months to be posted. It’s sort of anti-climatic now. I noticed that about my feelings. I hope that my TV job isn’t anti-climatic too – from wanting it so long….
Kind of a bummer…
Something I will process a bit more.
Also, I notice that as I get bigger, I see fears / concerns come up of “will people like me?” or rather, maybe “I don’t know if they’ll like me” — and also the thought that I need to get used to people liking me, agreeing with me, praising me.
It’s a bit of a paradigm shift, so I’ve been working on that lately…