June 16, 2013

So again today more messages that I’m the one who’s holding myself back from not moving forward, into more of my divine mission, and out to California.

Today the thought came to me to start packing up to go to LA.

To start planning out my drive… I have my car and Magic.  I can also budget flying and shipping the car.

To start making those arrangements.

Also someone came to mind that maybe I could or would want to move in with them for a little bit.

It feels like my whole life is waiting out there for me.

The promise land.

The land where all my dreams come true.

Because that’s why I’m going out there.  It’s not so much that I’m so in love with LA.  It’s that I’m in love with living the life of my dreams.

I also want to live somewhere where people are making things happen.  Where there are young people, hip people, with it people.

Florida feels like such dead energy.  Boring.  No man’s land.  And it was good for awhile, but I’m done with it.  It’s so boring to me.  The people are boring.  The lifestyle is boring.  I want to be in the action.

Which then makes me feel like a move back to NYC — but again, I’m still thinking LA.

The promised land.

I feel like my dreams are out there.

My life partner is out there.

TV is out there.

Creative people are there.

Vibrancy is out there.

I want to be out there.

So today and so on, I’m going to start looking around my apartment, yes… another phase of clearing and selling more stuff and maybe even packing.  Seeing what I really have here to move.

And of course the issue (AGAIN) is moving with my plants.  I have a lot of plants, I love them, and I want them with me.

I’ve come to the thought today that I’m not going to bring ANY of my furniture with me.  It all stays here.

Right now, the issue is getting over the drive.

That’s one of the things that holds me back.  The thought of that drive.  20+ hours.  By myself.

But I feel like I need to do it myself.  But I’m scared.

And how many hours can I drive at a time?

Not much.

I fucking hate it.

So this is something I need to start planning.  And I need to start planning it now.

As I was thinking about all of this.  The idea of contacting this lady I know out there to maybe move in with her for a time being, I started getting all kinds of excited about going out there….

And then on my way home while I was still thinking about all of this… I was pulling into my complex, zoning out, and then I realized there was a car in front of me that I was waiting to turn… and it was taking awhile… well, after awhile I looked down and noticed — it had CALIFORNIA plates.


As soon as I “got the message” the car turned.

Awesome 🙂

PS:  Had another dream about Tony Robbins last night