March 8, 2014

Two weeks ago when I was doing this review of my life — not by choice, Spirit was taking me through memories — something came to mind.


There was this video I came upon, a demo tape I had made back in 2001 to try out to be the host of the dating show I was working on — Change of Heart.

I was cracking up at how I was presenting myself and saying the items.. and thankful that I didn’t get the job because I just looked so young and was so naive.

Now grant it if I did get the job I’m sure I would have developed and matured on screen — but here’s the point.

I’m grateful that I had more development to go through.

That Spirit wanted me to go further within and find out more of who I really am and what I stand for.

Because if I continued on that path I would have no doubt been someone who was at other’s mercy, saying what they wanted me to say on screen, and been just a talking head — rather than someone with beauty, depth and real intelligence.  Someone who thinks for herself and has valuable wisdom and knowledge to share.

That’s why now, when I get into the impatience of the perceived “delay” in my TV job, I sit back and am grateful because I know Spirit wants me to develop more before I am really big in the public eye.  This is gratitude that comes deep within my soul, it’s something I truly believe and feel because I truly love who I am now.  I really know myself.

And watching this clip this morning — made me smile and appreciate my journey all over again.

Thank you so much for developing me into the wonderful woman I am now.  I am so happy that I have important and original things to say.  Thank you so much for the journey you took me into, a journey deeper into myself.

Mindless Media Parrots – Abby Martin – Breaking The Set