May 20, 2013

So the expo — well, I was exhausted even before I got there.  All the excitement I had going through my body from the dream hours, to waking up super excited, to worried energy, to being afraid, to then not being able to find the location, to arriving later than I wanted, to everything…

I had a headache I would say the whole time.  Terrible.

The expo was laid out different than I expected.  Much smaller space.  Tables very close to one another, not really organized feeling, etc.

Then people were coming in and what felt like a very “hard” crowd.  Very much like a pickup joint.  With pickup lines and tough attitudes.

Also the energy of the place was a bit much for me too.  But that’s the way it goes in any public space.  Any place where there’s a crowd.  Overwhelm.

I did a bunch of things to protect and guard my energy but it still seemed to really effect me.

Hey, it was the first time — in a long time, being in that environment.

My talk looked like it was going to be empty and I got a bad, defeatist attitude.

But thankfully, my photographer was there — as well as this videographer and they both had positive attitudes for me to move ahead.  Keep moving forward.  Bless them both for being my angels in that moment.

And just like that the room filled up and I was good to go.

So grateful for my photographer being there to help me.  She was wonderful and we had fun together.

I’m looking forward to adding more of a support system to help me at these events.  EXPANSION.  That makes me very happy.

The crowd was feisty, but I part look at that as they were interested — and part look at that as that’s just who they are given their life experiences.

I’m not sure I care to be in that environment all the time, but an interesting contrast to the spiritual groups I have been speaking in front of where I have been afraid to insult anyone, say anything in a wrong kind of tone, to hurt anyone’s feelings.

This is a much tougher crowd (at least on the outside) – so I was able to be who I am and do the readings and the teachings the way my natural style has been leading me too.

That’s one thing I have noticed, I have really been coming into my own with how I do stuff.

And interestingly enough, that’s the email I got from that girl requesting an interview – that she loves my tough love approach.

Isn’t that interesting.  My photographer said she loved it too.. when I was talking.

So I see how all these speaking experiences have really helped me to come into my own.  A mix of softness and tough love (I guess) funny, cause that’s still a new thing for me, one I am still learning to accept.

PS – – In the middle of this post I decided to email back the lady who asked for an interview and the woman who wanted a testimonial.  I think I’m going to reply to the lady who wanted to do Skype as well.  Just a short thank you and pass on the opportunity.  I do think fondly of all these women, just not interested in what is being presented at this time.  Interesting how that came about / changed.