April 4, 2013
I’m not doing it anymore.
I thought I stumbled upon this handy way of inviting people to my invites on Facebook. And that was to post an event and then in the comment section to tag all these people who were in the area.
Fuck that. I’m not doing that anymore.
People are annoying me. Yet again.
I just am noticing (AGAIN) how I am putting my energy out there to these people — these relationships — and WHY? Who fucking cares.
They’re not signing up. They don’t reach out. They aren’t doing work. They’re not working with me as their teacher. So fuck them.
Again, some people are on Facebook to make friends. I’m not using FB for this — I need to be real clear with myself and keep reminding myself of this, as any urges come up or unconscious programming.
I am using MY personal FB page for business contacts and students who are currently working with me.
Or if they are past students that keep in touch and I have some sort of relationship with them. Not for fly by nighters, no. Not for people who have come to one event and then are connected to me on FB to infinity. No.
Sure they can be connected, but I don’t need them on my friend list and I don’t need them in my feed.
It just pisses me off more. Why?
Cause I see the things they post — the things they are doing with their time — or their opinions on things and it annoys me cause I can see the ways where they could be helping themselves, but are not or are doing it in some other way or whatever.
It’s NONE OF MY FUCKING BUSINESS.
Again, maybe this sounds like shit. I’m not looking for these people as friends. I am a teacher. I’m using Facebook to connect to my students. To my business contacts.
People who I have a more personal relationship with, then I see them in person.
The whole Facebook thing is so crazy and I know I spend a lot more time thinking about it than other people do. Maybe I’ll do a psychology study on it. Who knows? This thing has always fascinated and annoyed me.
And I know it hurts peoples feelings (maybe) when you unfriend them, but again, what’s the point of being connected to them?
I know it’s “Being nice” — and I know people say “Blaire, think of the long term” although no one has ever said that to me personally — that maybe one day someone will be a client…. but I’m focused on the now.
Who’s my students now?
Let me be connected to them.
Other people will get my feed, it shows I have 200 subscribers but I really have 800 more that are friend subscribers. Those are people who I used to be connected to that I am no longer friends with but are still following me and my work.
So that’s fine, they can do that.
I am sure that at one point and maybe one point soon I will just be having people follow me and no more friending unless they are a business contact that I’d like to use as a way to keep in touch with them that way so I can see what they are up to, etc.
It’s about using FB for YOUR benefit…. Using Facebook not having it USE you.
And that’s the thing about tagging. That was the benefit of being “friends” with people on there. You can tag someone when you are friends with them.
But fuck that, not doing that anymore either.
When I was learning with whatever teacher i was HUNGRY for the work.
I would seek out what they were doing. All the time.
And I have some students like that. These are my ideal students.
I need to keep reminding myself of this factor.
It’s not about me hunting people down or reminding them of things — it’s about them seeking me out, them seeking my work out — the work out and that’s it.
I seem to know this but forget it at times.
Okay… now unfriending some people.
PS: Although it makes me feel “mean” to do this, I don’t need to offer people “facebook friendship” in order for them to come to my events / learn from me. They can be connected to me by following if they want. I don’t need to follow them back in order for them to be a fan. This is about the work, them learning, not for them to come learn from me cause I’m their friend.
Does that make sense? I seem to get caught up in this too? Facebook seems to have complicated my work life, not made it more enjoyable.
On there I’m always feeling like “ohh let me be your friend… and in exchange you’ll come and learn from me” — no. That’s not the story. The situation here is that they are drawn to their work because G-d brings them to me, their heart brings them to me. And they can learn from me that way. It’s not that I recruit people by being “nice” to everyone. And it’s not like I need to be friends with everyone on Facebook in order to move forward in my business. Let them learn from me. That’s it. Friendship is separate. I’m not making friends in order to convert them and I don’t believe that’s how it works… they see you post a million times then decide to work with you. No.
This is a long conversation that continues and continues. It needs to stop. I’m stopping it. I’m unfriending people. That damn FB makes me feel so uncomfortable. 🙂 We’ll leave it for now.