February 7, 2013
I wanted to write this yesterday but then forgot about it. The other night I met with one of the members of that group I am in — that the drama has been going on in.
We had a very nice meeting and got a lot accomplished.
At the end of the meeting we started talking about social things and about people in the group. It was all positive stuff, but I noticed when she brought up the name of the 2 guys I had issues with, that a part of me wanted to tell her some of the story to GET HER ON MY SIDE.
I held back, which was good. But I found it interesting that I was trying to do that.
This desire for someone to hear my side of the story and get them on my side.
For them to tell me, “yes, I see your point and you’re right”
Or “I feel bad for you” – – some pity points. 🙂
So I’m watching this side of me. Reminding myself that all what matters is what I think. It doesn’t make me more powerful or more right or even okay if someone agrees with my stance.
That’s a thing from childhood…. a thing we learn in our families. The little kid is wrong and everyone else sees the situation in a different way and unless you can convince someone else in the family of your “case” then you will be the wrong one…. until you start gathering family members on your side.
F that.
I want to release myself of that need. That’s a waste of energy to try to convince others. Back to the angel message of the day — release the need to get others approval, I give myself approval.
That’s all I need.
Rock it, girl. 🙂