June 7, 2013

I’ve been speaking to people lately (usually I keep mostly to myself) ūüôā ¬†and I’ve been noticing how many people are not making money, making low money, and/or not having clients sign up.

So what I’m going through is nothing unique.

Things are shifting these days. ¬†I’ve known this, but it gives confirmation when I hear other people’s business experiences too. ¬†I think it’s a time for all of us to be in that deep trust and to keep that vision of where we desire to go.

Again, that’s what I feel I’ve been doing, but it makes me feel better when I’m not the only one…. I knew this intuitively, but again it’s nice to hear it. ¬†I should talk to people more often ūüôā ¬†(haha, again another joke. ¬†I realize that many times I avoid conversations with people because I don’t want to be brought down with their complaints, I realize that many people want someone to complain to) — but anyway, that again I think has to do with where I live…. not talking about that again in this post.

So what I am talking about here is how I had three, maybe four dreams last night that weren’t so good. ¬†They were dreams about fears being vulnerable, feeling no support, afraid of things…. yea. All of that.

It made me think while I was going through the dream, oh this is why it didn’t work out with that interview yesterday, I’m afraid of stepping into this next phase. ¬†But am I? ¬†It was just an interview? To get information…. ¬†Better to do that sort of interview in private. ¬†I think that was the missing link. I wanted to do the interview, but it was private information for her and for me. ¬†But I felt insecure about asking her for a private interview, didn’t think she’d want to do it. ¬†But I wasn’t being true to myself. ¬†I didn’t have the confidence to do that. ¬†Didn’t think she’d want to spend time speaking to lil ol me. ¬†That’s sad. ¬†Insecurities again. ¬†I will do that next time….

Okay.  Lesson learned.

Now I can only hope she emails me a sorry about not replying or missing our meeting….. well, who knows she probably won’t.

That’s me being negative?

Who cares.

Moving on.

My pitch is finished and now I spend today relaxing and listening for guidance. ¬†Asking Spirit to help me. ¬†To show me what’s next. ¬†To bring people into my life to help me. ¬†Who are interested in me.

I’ve thought about different ways of going about this and none of them feel right. ¬†At this point, right now, I don’t feel comfortable approaching someone as it’s a nicer energy when someone approaches me, knows my work, and is interested in me. ¬†They’re hungrier. ¬†They’ve done their homework. ¬†Whereas the other energy is like me begging for something. ¬†Again, at least that’s how it feels now.

And I need to trust and be open to doing this different. ¬†Putting the pressure — or passing the ball back to Spirit to say, hey, can you deliver this to me? ¬†I’ll wait. ¬†I’ll hold the intention. ¬†I’ll trust. ¬†I’ll get myself in a good place of receiving. ¬†I’ve been doing meditation for, this will be my third day now of my old meditation ways and I will have positive expectancy.

It goes against every way, our old way of being. ¬†To enjoy the day? ¬†WHAT? ¬†To be at peace and go out in nature and study, rest, pray, etc. ¬†Yep. ¬†That’s what’s required. ¬†I also feel that the rest is good cause I know once this gets the green light, I know I will be busy and on the go. ¬†Stacking rest and sleep now.

I need to do it this way. ¬†There’s no desire to exhaust myself and do actions that are not guided.

That’s no longer my way.

And yes, there will be little anxieties about money, etc.

But I also have been seeing how I’ve been “surviving” on a limited budget and I’ve been doing just fine. ¬†I need to trust that things will align at just the right timing…. and for me to know that timing I must remain clear, aligned, quiet, in peace and in trust.

Many people talk about divine timing or that “the timing has to be right” but they are so busy in their day to day life and so busy with their thinking that when are they to know when divine timing actually is? ¬†The answer is, they won’t.

But I will because this new way I am being.  Beautiful.

Grateful for this new way of being. ¬†I’ve made it ūüôā THANK YOU! ¬†Wow, how I’ve grown. ¬†Thank you!