April 21, 2013

Lately I’ve been thinking about the idea of showing up for yourself.  Are you showing up for yourself?  For your dreams?

This has been in and out of my mind for several days now.  I’ve been thinking about it as it relates to some of my students — and as it relates to myself.

I’ve noticed that some of my students are not showing up for themselves.

Whether they call that by some other excuse to not do their homework, or not show up, or not prepare for sessions or do certain exercises that are shared.

They’re not showing up.

I’ve had this over the years with students.  And of course this is something that everyone probably deals with forever in this helping field.  But I feel like no longer dealing with it.  No longer wanting to work with students who don’t show up.

Now there will be fear that will pipe in — Well, Blaire, if they were showing up for themselves then maybe they wouldn’t need your help.  Right?

And yea, that makes sense.  I don’t have an answer for that.  I think it all goes back to me wanting people who are really ready and committed to changes in their lives.

They are ready to show up.

And I think this is bound to change in my life now anyway with the students I attract.  I think it has already started to change – – why?  Because I am showing up more for myself.

And this has to do with going for my dreams.

I would be more on the passive side.  I even see how this was a complaint / a questioning / a thought I’ve had in my mind last week.  How much do I need to do?  When will you do more for me?  Asking Spirit for more help.

And yes, I think it’s good to ask Spirit for help — you want to.  Again… I don’t have all the answers for this… I’m still processing things.

But I see how these last few days I’ve been showing up more.

Rather than sitting and waiting for my TV job or some TV opportunity, I’ve been making more videos.  Walking through those fears of releasing too many fears or posting too much stuff on FB about what’s going on with the government – and just doing it.

Being seen.  Being loud.  Being me.

When Spirit gives me an inspiration — I do it.

I’ve always been like this, but now I am paying more attention.  I notice how I’m listening more.  I’m more quiet to hear.

Last night I had several emotional dreams.  I’m quite tired right now and resting today.

In one my grandfather who passed came to visit me to share a message.  He normally comes around during my waking hours to talk to me — but in my dream I saw him physically so vividly. And without going into private details of what he was sharing with me, I’ll just say it was really intense.

Then earlier this morning than that, Spirit was insisting that I stop trying to remember the message they were sharing with me — about a video I have to make.

They kept telling me to get up and write it down. But I was ignoring them, about getting up and writing it down since I was super tired still — but finally gave in.

I’m glad I did because now it’s later in the morning and I don’t remember what they were saying.  So thank you for that.

When I turned on the light and took out my journal and couldn’t help but smile and laugh, it was 555. All about my life changing.  I’ve been seeing these “change” messages a lot.

Many 888 – which has to do with change.  Also has to do with $$ and abundance.  SWEET.

And sooo many 111’s which have been upsetting me a bit because I get frustrated at times watching my thoughts, obviously there are negative things I am still saying that Spirit is trying to help me with (I am getting messages from them about this in other ways too) – that they are trying to get me to clear out those negative thoughts that are still floating around.

I’m grateful for that — but it’s been kind of HARD — and you know I don’t like saying that word, but it has been 🙂  I’ve been praying for it to be easier.