June 8, 2013

So basically what all this comes down to is a shedding of my skin.

Leaving those old stories of “no one likes me” and “I’m a loser” or whatever falsehood behind.

It’s not even true.  It never was true and it’s absolutely crazy that that’s how I’ve walked around for such a long time.

It’s totally not true – and never was, so where did I ever get it?

Of course I can go into this family of origin blaming again and the way they made me feel, but I’m not.

Who cares.

It’s old stuff.  It’s not true.  It’s over.  I don’t even talk to them anymore.  That last conversation I had with my mom was of me taking back my power.  She doesn’t like me in my power… just like my ex never liked me when I was powerful.  He always thought I had an attitude and shunned it when I was in my power.

But screw that all.  It’s over.  And here I am.

So now it’s accepting a new identity for myself.  This has been going on for months, but I see myself these days in between the two.  Teeter tottering.  Questioning… is it okay for me to leave this behind…. I’m a bit scared… a bit nervous.

It’s a knowing that there will be no going back.

Not like it was even a good place to be.  But it’s the unknown — but ti’s also everything I’ve ever dreamed of.

My new human suit is ready.  It’s time for me to step into it.

I know that.

I also know that Spirit has been helping me get there… as it always helps me.

🙂

DEEP BREATHE IN AND OUT.

I can do this.  Really good things await me… I know this.