June 2, 2013

This is the second “end of the weekend” where I’ve noticed this feeling.

Sad feeling that the weekend is over.

I’ve been having really good weekends, weekends that have been a lot of fun.  A lot more of me playing.  It’s almost like I wonder where I’ve been the last year of my life, I have no clue what I’ve been doing with my time.

I’ve been much more social and playful these days.  Again, having more fun.

But over these weekends I’ve also been working too.

Very creative.  Brainstorming ideas for my TV show.  Organizing my thoughts.  Writing stuff down.

And it’s something about the weekend that I feel the freedom to do this stuff.  The energy of the weekend is so much nicer around here than during the week.

It’s so much more relaxed and I feel much more relaxed.

I sleep better.  Later.  I stay up later, again, I do more fun things.

And I like this lifestyle.

But it seems like when the week comes around I feel this almost pressure that I should be doing MORE.

Or doing things that produce money.

It’s like no more time to brainstorm and be in that creativity flow — I better produce.

And by that “produce” I mean money.

And I know the pressure isn’t good.

But that’s how I feel.

I’d like to resolve these feelings.  Would like to breakthrough.

I pray for more students, or money opportunities.  I still don’t know what’s up with all of that.  All of this, with the money.  I am feeling good.  I have my intention set.

I don’t know….

It’s like I don’t care to do things other than what I’m doing now, but there’s the understanding that I need the money coming in.

I’m ready for the tides to change for me with money stuff.

I feel I’ve learned my lesson with that.  My lessons.  To be more in the flow and faith and trusting with prosperity, and it’s definitely a different mindset to create and produce money rather than accept / receive it as in money from other ventures.  But hmm, still ready for more students.

Or someone to enroll in a program, a retreat, something… that will bring me money too.

I would love to do one of my retreats.  That gets me really excited.

But I think I’m just supposed to chill right now.  Yes, look for jobs, send out feelers, but… well, the information will come to me.

Learning to make do with what I have.

Learning to further appreciate what I have…

I thank Spirit as often as I think of for the lessons I am learning and for this experience.  That’s the way to go…that’s the way to be.  I do know that.  Find the blessing each day.  Appreciate it.