May 5, 2013

So something that has become VERY clear to me over the last few weeks — and that is this… I run this company MUCH different than I did my event planning company.

I don’t know if that’s a “good” thing or a “bad” thing — but it’s been something I’ve been noticing lately and maybe feeling a little annoyed about at times.  I guess that might be the “bad” part of it.

You see, first of all, I stopped giving students contracts to sign.  I used to do this, something real loose — not really a hardcore contract a few years ago… but then I stopped.


And even when I was giving a contract it was not as detailed and professional — hardcore? – as it is now.  As the one I am creating now.


I don’t know… this just isn’t right.  I was doing it because … it didn’t cross my mind?

I was afraid?

Afraid that maybe people would wimp out of signing up for sessions if they saw a contract.

Maybe.  Maybe that’s it.  I know that’s what’s been in my thoughts a bit here and there as I create this contract NOW.

And why is that?

I guess I view my students as a bit squeemish.  Scared.  Timid.  Uck.  I hate that.

I’ll get back to that…

Here’s another example.

I had my last beach gathering and I sent an email to get feedback (they all enjoyed it, but figured I’d get something in writing to post on my website)

And this was my thought…. Oh my g-d… I was second guessing my writing.  How I was phrasing the words, etc… Trying to be “softer” “more loving” — uck, more weak?

Yea. I think that’s it.

I was afraid of coming off with powerful energy.  Scaring the people at the gathering.

It’s like you say one wrong thing to “my people” and they totally retreat.

It’s like I do all this work to get them to work with me… to trust me… to whatever.. and then you say something in a certain tone or they don’t like how the email or response on Facebook feels and they are scared to death — or something.

And I hate that.

It seems like running my event planning company was easier.  It was less personal – and it feels busier than I am here.

Here I feel like I am adjusting my way of talking to NOT SCARE AWAY MY PEOPLE

But hey… if these are the people who are being attracted… we have to alter this.  Change it around.  I don’t want to act all “soft” all the time.

That’s kind of like what happened with one of my recent students.  I was a bit tougher on him with the guidance coming through — and in the end, that freaked the shit out of him.  He wanted to be “mothered” nonstop and it got to a point that I was tired of him pulling on my energy.

So I think this is a sign… a message… to be stronger in putting myself out there.  More in your face — not intentionally, but more myself.

It seems like all these students are soo sensitive.  And yes, I know I am too — but I feel like this breed of people are just too much effort / too much work to walk them through every single step to get them to sign onto services.

Then on top of that they are so stuck in their poverty and weak/victim stories.


I can’t deal with it anymore.

I’m going to be more conscious about NOT changing my wording with things.

I’ve had enough of this babying –and really OVER mothering students.

These people are grown people, I just can’t — won’t — do it anymore.

I’m spending too much energy wording and re-wording things.

And on top of that, this breed of people are totally broke and pains in the behind.  Complainers, full of judgment, unappreciative, and always wanting more.