March 2, 2014
I have been holding onto (aka, storing) these manifestation mobiles I had made and was selling through my company.
They’re great. At least I was trying to tell myself that. But inside I was feeling embarrassed of them, ashamed. Why? Because they weren’t perfect. Some of the cuts in the wood that I made were off center. The holes I had drilled I’m talking about…. they weren’t perfectly aligned. They weren’t perfectly centered. So it caused some of the mobiles to hang crooked. Also some of the writing on the mobiles weren’t perfect. Weren’t fancy looking. And…. my mom came over one day and commented about them, destroyed my self esteem around them and made me embarrassed.
It’s kind of sad that I feel I need to protect myself from my mom, but I do.
I need to protect myself from her harsh critique.
It’s real. The truth, but it also hurts. And no one wants anyone saying anything negative about their artwork.
So I just realized what the lesson was with these — and by discovering the lesson I was able to finally release them.
Before that they were sitting around my home, me holding onto them, because there was a “should’ing” going on in my head — that I “should” sell them for money — that I could use the money — and fear thoughts related.
So here’s the lesson — all this time I’ve been embarrassed of them. Ashamed of them. I had low self esteem around them.
And this was causing them to not sell.
The other thing is I was too embarrassed to go into stores / spas and sell them. Why? Because the holes I drilled into them were not perfect.
So for all this time I was upset with myself. Mad and angry that they didn’t sell. That I wasted money in creating them. That another inspired idea from G-d didn’t provide me with money…
But here’s the deal.
And this is related with how I have changed my business.
No more selling online.
It doesn’t work for me. It doesn’t work for many.
Everything I make. Everything I offer. I need to be comfortable to say it face to face to someone. To offer it face to face to someone. And to not hide behind my computer.
This is a transition I made in my one on one healing business and it’s been positive. Already there has been a rise in self esteem. I can see real life reactions. I am good at conversation with people and I see that anxiety builds in me when I am in my home, imagining what people are saying and thinking.
Now I go out for business, I present myself, face to face.
Before it suited me to hide. Now it suits me to be seen.
The transition has been made.
So thank you.
I see this reflected now with those mobiles. I was hiding behind a computer selling them. Trying to sell them — and ignoring my true feelings of being embarrassed by them. Now I am more in touch if I am not feeling right about something — I either clear and heal the thought or change what I’m doing.
This realization allowed me to release the mobiles with ease and grace. Allowed me to release them in peace. Thank you so much! I have been dragging those babies around with me for YEARS!
Deep breaths. Releasing. THANK YOU!
I’ve been having a big time review of the money “mistakes” I’ve made over my years. That contrasted with the successes I’ve had all these years too. It’s really quite weird. I will go off realizing — wow, my home was really big. I was really successful with that — and with that — and at a young age — and look at how that developed….. and then the next day or hours later, it’ll be like — but hey, remember you spend x amount of money on this and that failed.
I see it as I have to choose how I want to remember my younger years. It’s always a choice. There were positives and negatives. I get to choose.
It’s a discipline. I haven’t fully gotten there yet — to stay in the positive, but it’s my intention, because I have been very successful. I see how my default has been to go to the negative of I’m a loser and I’ve failed.
More deep breaths.
Interesting times I tell ya. Interesting times…. 🙂