June 12, 2013

So I deactivated my account and all this information — wisdom — came flooding in.

Things that I didn’t want to HEAR myself saying to myself, things I didn’t want to admit before, that now I am able to…

That’s the power with release.

1 — Facebook, like online dating, makes you feel like you are getting somewhere with your business (or in love) but is really a waste of time and energy.

2 — On Facebook you are trying to get attention, and get liked, by people who you DON’T EVEN KNOW!  Would you even try to be friends with most of these people in real life??  Probably not.  (Just like in dating online, you’re trying to get attention from men/women who would you even want to date in real life? Probably not.)

3 — There’s a lot of fear with your actions.  If I don’t do it… then what will I do to get business?  Same deal with online dating.  If you don’t do it, how will you get dates?

4 — In the 6 years I’ve been on Facebook (not really sure how long its been?  I think I joined in 2006 or 2007) I have not gotten any business.  I’ve just wasted a lot of time and energy.  Mental space.  It’s taken up a lot of mental space and brought me a lot of stress.  Sure I’ve “met” people through there, online — but are they my clients?  Have they paid me?  Do I know them personally? It’s so fucked up.  You’re on this online playground — and I’m not interested in playing online.  I want to play in real life.  In my free time, I want to be OFF the computer.  I’ll find other things to do.

5 — By default I end up sharing information or teaching or teaching by example.  Again, I don’t want to do this.  This only serves in the vicious cycle of pissing me off, of working for free.  FUCK THAT.  I don’t want to do that.

I welcome the more time I am giving myself.

I welcome the freed up mental space.  The silence.

It will get filled with things I truly enjoy.  Rather than in this make believe made up world of Facebook community.

6 — You’re constantly sucked into other people’s worlds.  Constantly sucked into their success, being jealous, or feeling like you have to show off your business like they are.  There’s this constant tug at your ego, at your insecurities.  NOT GOOD.

I just want to be in my own energy and those who I enjoy.  Not this way, that way, every which way.

PERIOD.

And with that said, I’m thinking of deleting my account all together.  But then there’s fear that the literary agent will say… you need an online presence.  You need a mailing list.  I have none.

Well, when I want to announce things, I put them on my blog.

PERIOD.  THE END.

That worked well for me.  Bring people to me.  Rather than depositing it in this pit of latest stories and “please look at me” “please buy from me” — I’ve had enough of that.

Proud of you Blaire.  Proud of you!

PS:  This also gives me back the privacy I’ve been seeking.  People that I don’t like.  Like my ex… and others, are still given privy to all my private details through Facebook cause I can’t help but post!!  And I get upset about sharing that stuff, but that’s just me.  When you are posting into an abyss, you don’t think of who’s reading it… you think of a mass… rather than individuals.. and then you think of the individuals and you say to yourself, damn.  I didn’t want that person to know all about me…. but now they do.  YUCK.  I didn’t like that either.

Fuck that.  Moving on.  Proud of you Blaire!  It takes great courage to go against the grain.  Good for you!  Now you can get a real life!