November 26, 2012
Yesterday I put up a new program on my website called The Heart Healing Program. It’s been on my mind for about a week now or maybe longer (intuitions in bits and pieces) to combine all my healing session services into one. I was feeling that it was getting too confusing with all my offerings and it would help students if they experienced Intuitive Heart Healing sessions as well as Spiritual Healing Sessions on a regular basis, not just one or the other. So I combined them, plus added more things into the package.
Rather than doing month to month programs, I made it into a 3 month program. This was again something that I’ve been thinking to do for awhile, but kept it as month to month program because I was thinking of other people…. again. Maybe they wouldn’t want to do a 3 month program. Maybe they would just want to do healing for a month and then stop. Maybe this and maybe that.
All rubbish (as my British friends say) 🙂
From my professional standpoint and my experience working with private students for several years now, everyone needs 3 months or more to work through things. Usually when people come to me it’s there first experience with healing and they are also newer to the spiritual path. My healing work is like a wake up call to them. A breathe of fresh air – and their whole life starts to change. Through these changes they need support to keep them going on this more enlightened path. If they don’t get it… and I’ve seen this time and time again, they slip back into anxiety-ridden thinking and fears. Their old self. Their small self.
So I let all those things about how people want to work – I let it all go…. I again said, how do I want to work? What would be the best way for me to support people in up leveling? And this is how it is. 3 month program with a mix of Intuitive Heart Healing Sessions and Spiritual Healing Sessions.
So I put it online. I was happy about my creation. Again, a Spirit led idea and creation…
But then this morning I woke up and my ego was talking. (But I caught it this time) 🙂
It was in fear mode. “Concerned” about the price tag I had come up with. It tried to disguise itself as my intuition. I was questioning this…. “Is this my intuition talking? Am I not listening to my intuition here?”
I thought about the price. Oh no, but maybe people can’t afford it. Maybe it’s too much of a leap for them. I’m going to be ruling out a whole lot of people.
And I sat in this, for about 1 hour.
But then the light came to me. Many signs and realizations.
This was my normal pattern. Spirit gave me an idea. I followed through. And then I would worry and shrink back down. Playing small. It always had to do with pricing. Maybe I’m charging too much. This one and that one couldn’t pay it. Would I pay it? And all these back and forth thoughts challenging the creation I just made.
“Blaire, this is your usual. This is how you usually take yourself out. You feel excited about your new creation and then you let that small you come in with fear and worry and you drag yourself back to the same old place you’ve been playing. This isn’t a confidence thing (which I’ve been beating myself up with and trying to figure it out for years), it’s an ego thing.. it’s a playing it small thing…. it’s a normal thing.”
“It’s normal to feel a little scared when you take a bigger leap. When you express more of yourself, but that’s all what it is. You keep going”
In the past I would get confirmation from people around me trying to keep me small….. people telling me I was charging too much… the economy is bad… and whatever else. But this I wasn’t falling into anymore.
This isn’t a value thing… or maybe it is.
It’s the desire for me to express more of myself, to share my gifts in a bigger way, to really help people in the way I know I can… and I’m going to do it.
So the debate stopped and I was able to focus my energy on something more productive. On upleveling myself. On raising my vibration. On being my bigger self.
Amen to all of that! Woohooo! This is huge stuff that I’ve been struggling with for such a long freakin’ time! So proud of myself! So so proud!