November 19, 2012

Re-defining boundaries and re-focusing on my vision.  My vision is to increase the income of my business to 100,000 and beyond.  It’s also to expand it in making my big dreams come true and in reaching more people that way.  This has been on the forefront of my mind this past weekend and today as I have one student who is teaching me a lesson.

You see, one of my students is enrolled in one of my lowest levels of service.  When you get into your own business you will learn more about levels of client commitment through the services you offer (or maybe you already know this) 🙂

So this student is in one of my lower levels of service.  I like this student.  I value this person, but this is a business I am running and these days I am focusing more on wearing my “business hat” than my “friend hat” and it has been an interesting experience…

Does that make sense?  Acting more as a business person, remaining professional… rather than acting like a friend.  The lines can get unclear in a service type of business, especially mine where I am getting so intimate with people.

So in the past, I used to treat everyone the same who worked with me, no matter what level of commitment they were enrolled with me in.  I used to see other teachers give more attention to certain students and ignore others (sometimes me, if I wasn’t paying them anything) and I used to think it was rude to ignore me on Facebook or through emails.  Totally rude.

And I used to get offended.

I used to have judgment against the person… they’re rude.  They’re money hungry.  You have to pay to get attention from them?

And the answer is yes.  Yes you do.  And also, there’s nothing wrong with this.

So now I find myself at this place.  A bit torn (but getting over it) from the “old” me who used to judge these other teachers and the new me of understanding and siding with them.

I get it now.

It’s about time management, energy management, and yes focusing on YOUR GOALS.

After all this is my dream I am working towards, my dream business that I am working in, and my business is what provides for me.  I am allowed and entitled to run it like I want.

This may seem like the obvious thing, but again I find these re-defining boundaries has been definitely happening and being implemented in layers.

So, that means, for this student who is enrolled in one of my lower priced offerings… that means that no, this person doesn’t get emails from me each day or every day or really at all…. it means that this person doesn’t get a more personal relationship with me…. it means that this person doesn’t get to email me when they process things…. or their successes… or many questions for help… or send me emails, “just because”….. well of course this person can do all of that, but it doesn’t mean I have to respond.  And this has been the new thing for me.

I am redefining my boundaries.  Refocusing myself.  This person and others like this person, as they do pop up since I have been confused and frustrated and really unsure at times how to handle this situation…. this person and people like this person don’t get to waste my time.  I don’t need to reply anymore.  And no, I’m not going to feel bad about it anymore and I’m not going to feel like a hypocrite with it… that I used to be upset with my teachers doing this … and now I am doing it.

For a few couple of weeks I’ve gone back and forth this them.

Emails and phone calls.

After all I don’t want to be rude.  And after all… they are paying me – something.

But again, just because you are paying me doesn’t mean you own me.  You are getting value from what you signed up for and you are getting lessons and healings that way.  That is it.

I never realized that I was letting money control me.  Not really money, but a person – whoever it was – who paid me, no matter how much – control me.

This comes out in such subtle gestures… but I’m aware of it now.  It’s not happening anymore.

I’m figuring out how to say this, write this, or put it on my website somewhere, but I no longer provide email support.  Sorry, I just don’t like it.

Students will email me with successes they’ve had.  And although I like hearing about it, these successes are usually intertwined with questions.  Questions are for sessions.  I have said this before to students, but I’m going to be firmer with it and also possibly say it in the beginning of working with someone new as well.

I’m usually pretty firm in my stance when people ask me questions and they are not a paying student, but I’m going to be firmer with current students as well – no matter what their level.  Almost everything – every question – the answer can be found on my website.  I find that some students like to email and email and email, asking whatever… trying to get more personal attention this way or more service or just pure laziness, rather than looking around on the website and reading things.

I know this can’t solve everything but I am re-defining my boundaries and being firmer with my students and myself as to where I am spending my time and energy.

I am learning more about myself and honoring that more.

I don’t like emailing students.  I like them bringing their questions, concerns, etc to sessions.  That’s where I can fully help them…. as every question almost always has other things that I pick up on that they are truly asking or seeking help or healing with.

There is so much learning going on these days related to what I just talked about – in the end it comes down to learning more about what you like and don’t like — and honoring that.  It’s also about how every minute of the day and with every interaction you are teaching people how to treat you.  Very interesting.