November 28, 2012

I also noticed today that I am free of judgments of others.  This is something that I wanted to get into a space of and now I think I am there.  I noticed a few people doing things yesterday that I did not care for, but I no longer had a feeling emotion tied to it.  I just didn’t care.

Instead I felt like I was just watching a blank screen or a movie and what they were doing didn’t phase me.  There was no charge to it like there used to be.

And this is related to the antibiotic decision and discussion from the other day that I had with my father.  He’s a medical professional.  He’s a doctor and he has his own perspective on things.  This was how I was raised.  With medical care and logical thinking.  The science of things and the belief in medicine.

I still believe this.  I still have it going in me, but now I looked at him and the profession differently.  Here my father was urging me to go on antibiotics and take care of my wound that way – “to not risk it” or “play around with it” – and although at first he got me more with that fear, I stepped away from it.

The awareness came today.  That’s his perspective.  That’s his experience.  And I respect that – he needs to respect how I believe.  No lectures.  No judgments or comments that I’m doing something wrong.  This is no longer acceptable and won’t be listened to or entertained.  Before I would let it influence me.  I would want to do something… but because my father is so convincing and speaks with such firmness and confidence, it would scare me.  I would shrink and go in fear and not want to go against the grain.

But now I don’t look at it like that anymore.  I have my own perspective and that works for me.

His perspective works for him.  Mine works for me.

And I don’t see it as I’m better than him cause I do homeopathy, which is maybe how I used to have judgment but now I just see it as different decisions based on people’s experiences and knowledge, their truths.  So I switched to homeopathy and that’s good for me.  No judgment.

No of course if and when he hears that I did this… I’m haven’t told him and not sure if I will, as it’s none of his business.. I’m sure he’ll try to make me feel bad, not intentionally but out of his “experience” and knowledge, but I realize now it’s none of his business.

It’s not up for discussion.

And this was the same realization that I had a few weeks or days ago about things I do in my business.  I blogged about it.  That it’s not up for discussion… I’m not asking your opinion… and I don’t need to explain myself.

You see, this all stems back to our parents.  All back to the people who we were raised around and by.  I healed that stuff when it came to my business… and now it’s being reflected in my family relationship.  Feels good.  Ahh, look how far I’ve grown.  🙂