June 6, 2013

So I’ve been having a good attitude about this moving out of here, but now I’m feeling a bit sad and left out.

My neighbor across the way moved out several months ago.  I wanted to, but felt my time was next.  I was happy for him for moving on in his life.

Then over the last few months more and more of my neighbors have moved out and moved on.

Neighbors who are directly across from me or next to me.

I kept a hopeful attitude throughout.

Then last week, my neighbor downstairs was moving out.

And now — the neighbor next to me… I just knocked on her door to have a guy open a jar for me — and she told me SHE’S MOVING OUT NEXT MONTH.


Oh goodness.

So many empty apartments around me.  I notice all the people in this community who have moved out and moved on — and I want that for myself.

I want newness.  I want new experiences.  I want to be living more of my life.


But what else can I do but keep grateful for where I live?  I do love walking to the supermarket all the time — I was just appreciating this an hour ago when I was there (again).

I like that I can walk everywhere (expect the beach which is a real upset) – especially now since I’m trying even more so to not use my car so I don’t have to fill up gas.

It’s like I’m living in different dimensions these days.  Which of course is what has been happening.  There’s the part of me that is doing my divine mission, enjoying a life of luxury, on tv and living creatively and totally fulfilled.

And then there’s my now reality of living in an apartment I don’t want to live in anymore and hanging out all day, taking it easy, focusing on future projects to create money

Well, actually that’s exactly what I should be doing.  Living in gratitude.

Actively being grateful.

Living in the future / the fantasy, since that’s really the reality — and not focusing on day to day experiences.  They don’t matter.  Only what is in FOCUS in my mind matters.  The success, fulfillment, fame and money.  Sharing my gifts with the world.  Living large.  Yep.  That’s exactly how I should be living.

Old paradigm / old Blaire would be worried.  Stressed.

New paradigm / the me now knows I am good and things are in the works — and can change in an instant.

I’ve been doing my Silva Method meditation each day now, 2nd day in the row.  I actually love it, not sure why I EVER stopped it!