April 5, 2013

When I was preparing for my video interview with Hugh I originally started thinking of what would look good on camera.  How I could DRESS UP.

But then I was thinking about him.  I had seen him in several videos and he always wears t-shirts.  He’s pretty casual.  Real.  Authentic.  Laid back.

That’s my kind of guy.  Not as in a date (well, maybe, who knows… hehe… he’s married, just kidding!)  but that’s how I am — laid back.

Not one to dress up.  Chillin’  – real, authentic.

I was reminded of the people who do internet marketing — how I see their videos and I think they look ridiculous all dressed up.  OVER DRESSED for a video.

They look like they’re trying too hard.

Trying to be something they’re not.

Trying to impress people.


That’s the whole post that I made before this one (I think it was right before.. not sure now)

But it’s another one of those fake things I see in them.

They love talking about how real they are or how they help people be more authentic, but the funny part of that — the weird part of that — is I always feel like they’re so fake.

So anyway, I tapped into my heart and I was like — I don’t want to dress up.  I want to wear a tank top of a t-shirt too.  I look good wearing this.  You can’t really see what I’m wearing with the camera angle anyway — I like putting it real close to my face anyway 🙂  I like that intimacy.

So I said FUCK IT.  I looked in my closet and went for the color that felt most comfortable for me.

And it felt GOOD.

It felt like ME.

All these years my mom has given me crap about dressing up — my whole family is.  And then my ex did, and on and on.


So here I was in my most powerful video.. or one of them — cause I think that Violence Video was a powerful one for me too.  A big leap forward, just like this recent one.

And I’m wearing no makeup – natural like I am.

I’m wearing a tee.

And I really think I looked beautiful.  I radiated.  It was really wonderful.

So proud of myself for this one !! 🙂