April 5, 2013
I’m in the middle of two things.
One is a post on Facebook. Someone responded to a question I had posted about her note in there. It was a girl who was dressing up – WAY TOO MUCH – for a private intensive day with her mentor (see my last post, it’s related)
So she and some others responded to me.
Now I don’t agree with what they said.
I could – and usually would — “like” their post. Or I would say, “ohh, thanks, I get it”
The other part of me is like — “write what you really feel about it. teach her your side of it and how people look ridiculous all dressed up — too dressed up for that sort of thing”
But I am leaving it.
The other thing I’m in the middle of is this email correspondence. An email correspondence with someone else from Facebook. She responded to questions and comments I had written in response to her email.
But that’s another one where I don’t feel like replying.
The girl is okay. I don’t think she’s my type of person. She asked me a stupid question — something real vague “tell me more about your business” – which initially pissed me off, cause she could just look at my website which the link is in my signature to find out more about me. She could go to my Facebook page. You know… do some research…. there’s the side to me that says, she’s being nice, trying to make business friends… and then the other part of me, my intuition was ringing, that she’s trying to sell me / make me one of her clients.
I am just so not interested.
Ohh, then there was the other part of me that was like, what does she want to know about my business? That’s so fucking vague. So of course then the way that would go is that I email her back rambling about my business, which I don’t want to do. It’s stupid and a waste of time and energy — or I email her back saying, what would you like to know? Which again, by the amount of things she replied to me, the email is going to take an hour of my time to respond to every point, cause again, that’s what I do — details.
So I don’t want to do any of it.
And with both of these things, I am feeling discomfort. Discomfort that I’m “being rude” by not replying. They were nice enough to respond to my email or question or questions and why am I not replying? The “it’s not right of me” — guilt — rudeness. Who knows.
But I just don’t want to.
I know this is a “terrible” thought — but my guides said to me, if you had a chronic disease, like Cancer would you even care about this shit? Would you bother replying? Wasting any of your time on this?
And the answer is no.
WHO THE FUCK CARES.
And I don’t want to wait for something like a chronic disease to happen (cancel, delete, clear, G-d forbid) — so I am honoring my feelings, my intuitions now.
And when I don’t want to reply to someone via email, I’m just not doing it.
Who the fuck cares.
I don’t owe them anything.
It’s not a short conversation. Again, back to the feeling that I just want to do IN PERSON interactions.
And that’s it.
I’ll process my uncomfortable feeling(s) and whatever anxiety I may have.
This is good.
I’m leaping forward.