May 4, 2013
The last couple of nights Spirit has been suggesting setting up new boundaries for myself when I deal with people.
This is always a process of layer by layer being more truthful about one’s feelings — I’m grateful for these suggestions.
Plus I’ll add, they’ve been coming through during my dreamtime hours. That’s been very cool. I’ll hear a voice chime out, in the middle of a dream, which I know is one of my guides, letting me know what a new good boundary should/could be.
Here they are.
How about you just ignore and walk away – not deal with anymore – anyone who doesn’t act nice to you or makes you feel uncomfortable. Just don’t even deal with them anymore.
This has many layers.
I was thinking of my ex during the day.
He’s done some things that were downright dicky. He’s done this throughout our relationship. But because I am so “nice” “loving” and forgiving, I would overlook it, “forgive him” and let him back into my life. I thought that I was supposed to be “unconditionally loving” (not for cheating or anything like that, but in general) — so that’s what I did.
Then I thought of my parents and their recent actions. Specifically my mom.
And I thought of how Mother’s Day was coming up, how I was thinking about years past how I would wish a Happy Mother’s day even though I wasn’t happy with her — even though she was acting like a bitch to me.
And how I was thinking that again this year I was going to over look that.
FOREGO MY FEELINGS for the sake of “looking good” on the outside. Overlooking people’s bad behavior.
So Spirit was suggesting that I just stop all of this all together.
That means that when I visit my grandmother (which I don’t think I will do again, since I went yesterday and she was upsetting / frustrating to me — totally unappreciative of me checking on her, etc) — this relates to that, again, just not going anymore. (This is another blog post possibly, I don’t even know if I feel like writing about it at this point)
But anyway, that means that if I was to visit her and my aunt and uncle were there (who I had a falling out with years ago… more family shit) that I don’t pretend to smile at them and answer their questions when they ask me how I’m doing.
That would be the normal reaction I think most people would have. You hate someone’s guts, yet you still answer their questions…. pretending all is okay.
So it means to just let that go. Not answer, not deal with them. Not even spend my energy on smiling at them (fake smile) etc.
Spirit suggests I stop that “nice-ities” – and yes, I like that idea.
This Mother’s Day I am not sending a Happy Mother’s Day email. Not in the mood. She doesn’t deserve it. She was a bitch to me the last time I saw her. She never said she’s sorry. Forget her. Moving on. Over it.
This means with my brother and sister in law, not sending them an email about happy birthday to them too when I never hear from them, even when they are in town, etc. They never checked on me after my breakup with my ex, or asking questions about my divorce, nothing. So F them too, no more pretending to care about them. No more niceties. No more of this fakeness.
I never wanted to do it anyway.
But this was something “old” that was still sticking around.
(See next post for next thing Spirit is suggesting I clear out)