May 31, 2013

My newest thing… well not really, is thinking, “What do I do anyway?  What do I have to offer?”


So tired of this flip flop of confidence and certainty in what I do — to feeling totally clueless.  It’s like amnesia.

I’m feeling yucky today.  Did last night too.  That’s what happens when you have to sort through things, listen to what your soul has to say — in silence.

Yep.  Look what happened 🙂

But I laugh.  Cause I know it’s for a reason and I’m grateful for the awareness and clearing out.

The healing.

I pulled one of my oracle cards and it gave me this exercise to do.

To think of what I consider to be a great invention and what my life would be without it.

Interestingly enough (funny just cause I don’t have it anymore and limit my viewing of it) — is TV.

I love TV.

Why do I love it?

I think it’s so entertaining and enjoyable — it takes me away, to other lands.  To learn about people.  I love watching people.

So what would my life be without TV.  This is where it’s funny – cause it would be like I have been experiencing the last day.  Bored.  In my own thoughts.  Processing my emotions.

Haha.  This post is funny on a bunch of levels.  Are you noticing?

So then the question is what would life be without me expressing my gift?

Basically it’s a question to get you realize what you have to offer.

Perfect card for how I’m feeling today.  Uck.

So the world would be like it is today.

There are people out there who really want to be in love and the traditional way or this modern way is not working for them.

I can help with that.

Then there are people who get into relationships and are still unhappy.  Their partner makes them miserable.

Well again I can help with that too.

Help them heal these unhealthy, unconscious relationship patterns.

I also help them heal their pain so they can move forward.  (Yet again this post becomes funny to me, it’s what i’m going through now…. healing my pain so i can move forward)

So this sounds like I have a lot to offer.

But then my mind says there are others who do this sort of work.  Well kind of, maybe.
But not in the way I do.

This train of thought all started when I was watching this agent talk about his clients the other day.

I “know” this guy but didn’t realize he was the agent for all these huge names.

I’d like an agent.  Someone to support me and help shape my career, work out opportunities.

I’ve wanted this for awhile.

First my mind went to — look, he goes after people who are doing something.  You have to do something first.

But then my mind was like — I am doing something.  I’m a Love Expert.

But then I was like –  well what have you really done?

And that was the hole I was digging myself into.

These guys he went after weren’t doing much, maybe a radio dj – when he hooked up with them.

That’s no different than what I’m doing — I’m helping people with their relationships.

I had two conflicting thoughts — you get more popular, an agent will want you.

Then the other thought was — an agent can make you.  Bring you to that next level.

So I don’t know.  I can’t be in my head today.

I know I just need to do.

I know I need to write up my TV pitches and get into doing, rather than all this thinking and doubting and up to nothing.  Didn’t we just discuss the other day how this is the worst place to be in.  JUST DO!