May 1, 2013

So the man I contacted to interview through video emailed me again.  Remember I mentioned that I was going through these insecure thoughts of maybe I said something wrong or ruined it in some way that he was no longer interested?  Well, I didn’t.  The guy has just been busy and I think he’s kind of rude.  He saw my emails he said, but didn’t get back to me until the other day.

In any event, I’m moving on.  I’m not interested in being in business relationships like that.

I asked Spirit what was the point of having that experience with that guy and they said for two reasons (or at least two reasons they are making known now)

One of those is that he told me he’s a correspondent for MSNBC and he does shoots for FX.  I think he mentioned some other TV stations too, but I can’t remember.  That’s what stuck out to me.  That he’s doing TV.  And how it sounds like he does TV on a regular basis (Not sure if this is really true — but it doesn’t matter) — The point here is that it inspired me to think bigger.  To dream bigger.

I have been thinking about local TV stations here in Miami or other local stations around the country and applying or pitching myself there for TV jobs.  Now I am focusing on these bigger networks.  If this guy can do it, so can I.

So dreaming bigger since I met him….

Second, it was to show me my fears around business.  The default thought I have about “ruining things” or “doing something wrong”

Again, quite a strange thing to be thinking about on default and I still haven’t thought of what this relates to in my childhood… well, except for… yea, that’s it… that my parents, mainly my mom would tell me “no” to almost everything I said I wanted to do.  So I can see the connection here.  Whenever I would speak, she would try to tell me to say it differently.  Or to do something different.  So this gives the message that I’m doing something “wrong.”

I gotta be aware of that, catch it when it happens — although I did this time.

And another reason?  Well I think that’s it.

Ohh… yes, the third reason, and this is a big one.



That’s when it came back to me.

My guides have been telling me to get off thinking so much about my career and finances.

To release it.

This has been a bit hard for me to do… I guess 🙂

But you see, it came around fast… so this is about increasing my faith and trust in this with two things that are close to my heart – that are big on the desire list these days.