January 4, 2013

I had a dream last night about my literary agent and today I am moving on.  It’s time.

Someone told me to contact her, to wish her a Happy New Year, and to re-touch base after the holiday season.  This never felt like the right thing to do… and I’m not.

She had her chance with me.  Her intentions didn’t feel pure.  I felt rushed with her on the phone.  Her contract didn’t feel in integrity.  I edited and sent it back to her to get no response.  She’s not right.

So I’m moving on.

On Monday or maybe over the weekend if I feel inspired I’m going to edit my query and send it to new people.

For me, I lesson here is to honor how I want to have different relationships with people I form business relationships with (and all relationships with).

I want them to be conscious, mature, and loving – – in integrity.

Others may still be in the mindset that “you can’t have it perfect” or that “some people are just like that” and that’s the awareness mindset that the person who told me to “retouch base with her after the holidays and that people get wrapped up in holiday festivities, etc” — that’s bullshit to me.  I like when people communicate and they are professional.  It’s what I do, it’s what I require.

No more of me over-communicating, going out of my way to be nice and keep in touch – when I’m forming a relationship with someone who’s supposed to work for me — FOR ME – and to be good at communicating and realizing I’m the one who’s in charge and I’m the one she wants to be kind and hustle for.

So that’s it.  She’s out.  Moving on.