March 31, 2013

Okay, I’m saying it.

Most spiritual people annoy the fuck out of me.

I’m thinking that you probably — or rather, could have — assumed this about me before, but now I am saying it.  Cause it needs to be said.

Now in the past, I tried to cover it up… ohh, they are my people.

Ohh, they mean to do well…

If I don’t fit in with spiritual people, who will I fit in with…

Ohh, whatever.

This is bullshit and annoying — and it’s been annoying me for awhile.

But interestingly enough, this only started happening, the “being annoyed by spiritual people” since I’ve moved down to FLORIDA.

But here’s the tricky part.  These spiritual people don’t tend to annoy me in person — they annoy me online.  So how does that figure?  Yes, I’m connected to more spiritual people in Florida since being down here.

Is it because I’ve become more spiritual since being down here?

And if you go with the “they are your mirror” idea, then I am annoying myself since I got more spiritual?  haha.

Here’s the deal.

I post on Facebook to process my thoughts – sometimes

Other times I post my observations.

Over the last 2 weeks, I think, I posted two things.  One was an observation and the other was a processing of my thoughts.

Nothing all light and fluffy, like love your neighbor spiritual shit.

It was an opinion – a strong opinion or realization – one way or the other.

And both those times, a “spiritual” person posted back giving me some advice.  Showing they are better than me or something.  Spiritual advice.

Both of their comments had the same theme, “that person is being your mirror, what is it telling you about you”

Are you fucking kidding me?

Now why does this annoy me.

One – yes, I know this already.

Two – I’m not talking about that.

But, they may say…. the mirror example always relates.

And I would say, lighten the fuck up.

I find it annoying when people are constantly in spiritual “do good” mode.  We are humans, fucking lighten up.

That means we have opinions, that means we don’t like people, that means we get annoyed at things, frustrated, angry.

It also annoys me because 1 – I didn’t ask for their opinion

2 – I didn’t ask them to analyze me

3 – they are stepping over boundaries, MY boundaries.


I wanted a space to vent my realization and to let it just be.  Let me speak.

Since I’ve removed almost everyone from Facebook, I don’t see anyone in my feed.  Only a select few, my students and people who I like on the internet.  That’s it.

I decided over the weekend, something I’ve been thinking about for a long time, trying to figure out how to do it, and then inspired by one of my students — I have the contacts I want in Facebook, that are business contacts, but I hide all their comments — so my feed is incredibly quiet now.  I don’t need to see what’s going on in their life.  It’s mental clutter.  It’s a distraction from me doing my mission.  I need all my energy focusing on that — on my world.  It’s more peaceful and free.

In any event, I’m happy to keep my contacts on FB, as contacts, as that’s what I wanted them too. And I’m also happy that I removed them from my newsfeed.

Fuck these other people.  These type of spiritual people are NOT my students.  The thought that always keeps me being nice to them is the thought that maybe “one day they’ll be a student, so be nice”

But fuck that.

The realization here is that my students are REAL.  They are interested in spirituality, they’re going to be leaders in the field, but they are fucking real.  They get angry, frustrated, they curse, they do whatever.  They’re not nice to everyone and they don’t like everyone.  I wish these other people would just disappear from my life.  I fucking hate them.

And yes, if we are going with the mirror thing, I used to be this way with my ex, my husband.  I would correct him, if not aloud, then in my head when he was being negative,etc.  And yes, when he wasn’t asking.

But the thing here, this is how I justify it. Is that he was this way ALL THE FUCKING TIME and it annoyed the FUCK out of me.  And I was supposed to be building a life with this man and he was totally UNINSPIRING.

This leads me to my next post.

PS:  Here are the FB posts I put up today of my realizations:

Big realization today — I realize that my students aren’t just ordinary people (although they pretend to be, lol) who want to heal themselves of pain, frustration, loneliness, struggle, whatever – but all the students who Spirit brings to me have a really big life path – a huge divine mission to do in this world. Not only are they healers and/or teachers, but LEADERS. That’s the common theme between all my students. I just totally realized this on a different level today. Very cool… And on top of that, they’re not boring leaders doing what everyone else is doing (although I guess that’s not the definition of what a leader is anyway) but they end up being leaders in a field so unique and special which relates to their gifts that come out as we work together. Now it’s all starting to make sense. I see it with each student, as they start to heal, their psychic and healing gifts come out more, and then I help them step into their role as leader, doing their divine mission – I love that! (I’m still letting it sync in, but it’s very cool). It’s all starting to make sense now… hard to explain, but I’m really loving it.

The other thing that I’m totally getting on a deeper level today is this… I used to be upset when someone would talk to me, share with me what they are struggling with and I would know that I’m able to help them. Spirit would start telling me steps for them to take to become more in their power. But I would get upset when they wouldn’t continue doing their work, stepping forward, and when they weren’t hungry to change their life. I’m really sensitive, which is part of my gift and what makes me so good at what I do, so this sensitivity would make me feel bad. Why don’t they want to make their life better? I wouldn’t get it. I could feel their pain (I’m an Empath) and I would feel their suffering and sometimes take it on myself. Then I went through a period of understanding that they just weren’t ready to move forward — although people will say they are in pain, it doesn’t necessarily mean they want to heal from that / that they don’t want to be in pain anymore… which is another thing I can’t relate to, because whenever I’m experiencing upset or pain I want to make it better, I want to move forward, it’s this commitment to living an amazing life. But I realize that not everyone wants to live a happy life, some people don’t think it’s possible for them and some people have lost faith, and some people just don’t have the self esteem or self love to care for themselves out of that pain.. in any event, today I realize, that another reason why my relationships with these people have ended is because they are not leaders. They are not here to heal through their pain (or at least not right now) — they don’t have that drive in them, that knowing that they are here in this world to do something great, to lead, to teach, to heal. There are many healers and teachers in this world, but not all teachers and healers are leaders. Anyway, this is a long post 🙂 Just a lot of things coming to the surface today. Beautiful!