April 20, 2013

I realized last night when I was getting into bed and wondering what the heck I did all week and feeling bad about feeling sad again – I realized that I made two videos this week.

And two videos that I felt were significant and really good works of art (my art / videos, that is and speaking)

These days I’ve been feeling like making more and more videos.

But I notice how I’ve been hesitant.

I was feeling like making a video today — but then poo-poo’ing myself because I had concerns that I would get into that same pattern of offering loads of material and then mad at people for not purchasing things, etc.

But I ended up getting over that really quick, cause I just made another video.

I seem to be talking about politics a lot these days — and the things that are happening in the world.  They just annoy me and they come across as so fake.  I see the truth of what is going on and feel the urge to speak to everyone about it.  No more hiding, no more NOT talking about politics cause I have insecurities that other people know more than me.

This is stuff I’ve been researching for many many months — maybe even a year now.

Some call it conspiracy theories, but the stuff ends up being true!

So I made a video today and waiting for it to upload and will post it on Facebook soon.

I had a concern that it was too long and I wasn’t really focused in a specific message I wanted to share and went off on a tangent.

But that’s me trying to pull myself down.  My ego.

This is my first video on this – speaking up – it doesn’t have to be perfect.  It’s a start.

And there are somethings to note here

1 – the message in another one of my videos that came through was — is that you just start somewhere.  I am starting here.

2 – you don’t know where your sharing will take you.  That’s okay – you still share.  Step by step it takes you somewhere.  That was my experience with the marryblaire site.  I wrote updates each day and it lead me to realizing I’m a writer, which lead me into realizing I’m a good writer, which lead me to realizing I was inspiring others through my writing, it increased my self esteem, and I started channeling through my writing.  I had no idea I would be channeling through my writing when I started writing updates on that blog.  A whole world opens up.

3 – The message today, it doesn’t have to be perfect — you just start.  Yes, thank you, I did that

4 – the message in today’s video which came through… towards the end… and who knows who will watch til the end… but again, STOPPING the judgment and expectations of perfection… was that it doesn’t matter who watches the video, how many likes on FB or views or comments on YouTube, it put it out there because it’s what you have to do.  And it’s worth it if it just reaches one person – makes them question and do research.

Okay, so step by step.

And again, just as I am teaching — Spirit is coming through with messages for me through these videos too.  Super cool!