February 6, 2013

So the person who I was “friendly” with didn’t even bother to reply to the emails I sent them.  With this whole group issue deal.  I have mixed emotions.  Maybe my email was a bit on the mean side. Maybe I was wrong… but isn’t that old thinking?  Enough of that.

I told it the way it was.  Yes, several things they did were rude, inappropriate, and unprofessional.

Just immature.

I was right to share my feelings and my thoughts – and I’m also right to cut them off.  The whole thing was just ridiculous and it was them who was part of the problem that kept stirring it up.

Lack of leadership skills.

Lack of liking or wanting to take on a leadership role, even though they put themselves in a leadership role.

Inability to stand up for themselves.

Inability to tell the truth (it always did bother me how much they lied and even told me they lie) – what?? ridiculous.

So whatever, better off to be done with that.  Yes, I deserve better.

But also I couldn’t help but feel sad at times yesterday and a loss.

Yes, this person was helping me with my project and yes, it was good and helpful feedback.  So yes, again, I have myself and Spirit and that is another good lesson to be relying on myself and on Spirit for success and not other people — and also a better way to be spending my energy would be on attracting someone new to help me… which the Universe also did bring me yesterday.

But still, here I am still feeling a bit sad about the situation.

We get ourselves into binds, accepting people and things that people do that are unacceptable because we justify.  Oh, I’m getting this from them, so I should just overlook that.

But you know, I’ve done that for years and it built up this rage inside of me.

This anger at people.  At them.

This hate for them.

So F that.

I need to somehow mourn my loss, and also then step into the proud feeling of what I did was pretty great and to recognize how it took a load of courage.

It’s an adjustment period I know… and I also know the reason why it hurts like it does is because I noticed these warning signs from the get go and kept moving forward.

You don’t do that.

At least I’m not doing that anymore.

So again, a turning of the tides.

Who cares what this person or the others think of me.  Keep my head high.  My energy up and out of their drama and chaotic lives.. and focus on what is important.

Creating healing relationships with people who are on my level, people who I respect and admire, who inspire me to be a better person — and on the business projects I am doing and enjoying life.

Keep it moving.

The emotions will process through, let them, but keep focused on the things that matter.