April 6, 2013

So I’ve paid that amount for my home before.  More than that actually.  So what’s the difference now?  That’s what I was asking myself as I took Magic for a walk tonight.

The difference is this…

1 – SUPPORT.  In the past, I was paying for it — but I knew if I needed the help financially, my parents would be there.  In reality, they would still be there for me (I’m assuming) although yes, I haven’t spoken to them in weeks and don’t plan on it for awhile.

So, no support.  Or rather, I don’t feel family support.  It wasn’t really there the way I wanted it before – but at least financially I knew it would be there.

Now I rely on myself and on Spirit.  This is a good thing, the way it should be, but it’s a little bit scary — as well as exciting.  We’re used to relying on PEOPLE – physical things for support — now I am asked to rely on the unseen.  I’ve been doing it for years, but maybe not really, now my practice is asked to go deeper.  Okay.  I can do that.


2 – The other difference is that I have less in savings now.  I went through my savings in the past and haven’t quite recouped.  I’ve been in graduate school for 2 years full time – and although this feels like an excuse, it really is the truth.  My energy was there, not so much on making money. Although of course I wanted to and I did, much of my time and energy was on school and on my relationship.  Now my time and energy is focused on making money and building my business.


3 – I had the experience of spending most of my money on housing in the past, so I’m hesitant on doing that again.


But with all that said, Spirit keeps saying DON”T RULE IT OUT.


Along with a list of things I need to check on and questions I need to ask when I go back and talk with the agent.

I wonder if I’ll be moving in there?

I looked online and there seems to be less expensive places in the area, so I’ll look at those too.

But again, Spirit tells me to go back to that unit.  Check out the building again.  I’m making a list of items of what to look for.

Interesting, this is even surprising me.

I guess I have somewhat gone into my “giving up” mode again.  Or settling for less.

Spirit is encouraging me.   Ahh, isn’t that sweet.  That’s exactly the type of partner I want in my life.  THANK YOU!