November 9, 2012
You hardly hear me say the words “not easy.” I don’t like the word hard. I don’t think anything should be hard in life, but here I am. It’s the one thing I will call hard (but only sometimes) 🙂
What am I talking about? Well, it has to do with following your life’s path. And yea, sometimes it’s just not easy. Sometimes it’s just down right hard. Following your life’s path (or doing your life’s mission, whichever you prefer) 🙂 is a labor of love. A fire full of passion. It’s something inside of you that you know you have to do. You have this great vision – this dream – that keeps pushing you forward, keeps telling you to keep going, keeps telling you that this is what you are meant to do in the world…. yet, sometimes it’s just down right depressing.
Sometimes it’s hard.
And patience provoking. Yep, constantly testing your patience.
I have no idea.
Maybe for you to prove yourself to Spirit that you really want to be living your life’s mission.
Maybe to show that you really have it in your for the long run?
That you have the endurance to carry the message for the long term?
Or maybe it’s just to mold you.
To sculpt you into the person that you know is inside of you.
The keep on going attitude… the pushing it… the ups and downs of the pursuit…. the disappointments of not being an instant success… or for it taking many years to get people to notice you…. or to achieve those big dreams….
I’m not quite sure.
Over the years pursuing my life’s mission – although I knew it was what I HAD to do… I have a passion for it and don’t want to do anything else with my life – has really tested my nerves.
It’s gotten me mad at Spirit. Made me feel like it’s teasing me or torturing me or making me wait forever.
I may see others who are achieving success – accomplishing the dreams that I have always wanted for myself since I was young – yet, it always seems to be right there… and then right there… and then right there. Pushing me to the limit – I have to keep going.
Some people may have instant success. Instant followers and instant people singing their praises. For me, and for many great spiritual teachers, healers and leaders I think they had to overcome great odds.
Many times I ask Spirit why does it have to be so hard?
Why do I have to keep being so persistent?
Why do you keep testing my patience?
I have been working at this for so long, why do I have to keep pushing like this?
Sometimes I get so exhausted…
And sometimes depressed.. which then turns back into anger… and then sadness… and then disappointment.
Yep, pursuing your life’s mission is definitely a rollercoaster ride at times and it’s a choice that every person with a great gift must go on… or at least make the decision to go on.
I know that although it has been a path that has made me question and feel all times of (not so nice) emotions 🙂 it has also been a path that has brought me great joy. Over the years of Spirit molding me (testing me) it has also caused a whole slew of “me” to come out of the spiritual closet – these gifts that I never knew I had. I am grateful for that.
In the end, if you choose this path, you do know that your big dreams will come true.. at least, I know it for myself.. it’s just a matter of hanging on, pursuing it enough to see them happen that is the tricky part. Boy, oh boy, it’ll test your patience 🙂