November 13, 2012
Today I had a bad day. Should have rested and played, but I didn’t. I moped for most of the day. I will write about this tomorrow.
But for now, I wanted to write the interesting realization I just had.
You see, I was going through my normal bad habit, self sabotaging thoughts for most of the evening. (Terrible habit when I am in a tired and bad mood)
And something dawned on me.
“Blaire, you’ve only just begun doing your business full time. Be easy on yourself”
Is this correct?
But I always say I started this business in 2000.
Well, that’s correct. But only part of the picture.
I was doing other things that were RELATED to this business, but not this business. Not how I am doing it now.
Back then I was working for Warner Bros on one of their TV Shows. I was casting singles and couples. Helping them with their relationships. So this is how my professional career began (I used to work in advertising right out of college, but this was my 2nd job out of school)
And this is the job where I started working in the field of relationships.
So that was 2000 and 2001.
Then I started doing my own business. My event planning company. And again, I did singles events. I did couples events. I did women’s events.
So again, still working in the field of relationships, but not doing Love Guru per say.
Sure it was always there on the side lines. Part time, dabbling, helping people through “coaching” as I called it back then. But my full time gig was my event planning company. Again, still working with individuals and couples with their relationships… but not the healing and teaching work I’m doing now.
And that lasted for many years. My event planning company, that is.
Then Match.com came and contracted me to work on their events in NJ and NYC. So there again I was doing singles events for Match. But still doing it for my event planning company. So still in the field, but again, kind of on the sidelines cause although I would teach here and there at my single’s events, it would freak the shit out of me and I preferred hiding.
This took me into 2004-2005 when Marryblaire.com came out into the world. And for that year I was super busy with interviews and press opportunities. This is when I started working more as the Love Guru, but it was still part time. My event company was full time. Again, still pretty much hiding. Not being who I truly am. But also, Spirit preparing me for my mission.
This went on until 2009? I’m not quite sure. This is when I was closing down my event planning company. No longer interested in it. Bored. Unfulfilled. I knew I was hiding and I couldn’t do it anymore.
This was also around the time I met my ex. Moved to Florida and chose a new way to hide. In graduate school. Hilarious!
So I moved to Florida. No more event planning company and Love Guru was more on a full time basis, but as soon as I started school it had to go back to part time. School took up so much of my time. I wasn’t expecting that.
So I was still doing Love Guru, but again it was very much in the back seat.
That leaves us to just about 7 months ago. This is the time when Love Guru became full time again. Or actually, full time for real. Because the other years it was still pretty much backseat.
Now I’m not making excuses or anything.
But I am experiencing some healing here.
Because for a long while (maybe this past year) I’ve been upset, frustrated, and pissed off – feeling like a loser or a failure – or that I should be somewhere where I want to be already. But I get it. Cool off. Although you have been doing Love Guru all your life and you have in many ways, the Love Guru business, the way you do it now, with healing work and all the offerings, plus able to devote time to it on a full time basis, really just started this past year.
This definitely makes me feel much better – overall.