June 13, 2013

Well once again, Intense boredom last night.  It was really terrible.  I had no idea what to do with myself and did not want to be in my apartment.

I was even considering getting tv back again since I was going out of my mind.  So much anxiety and uneasiness.

I ended up getting myself out for a walk with Magic.  That was boring too, but I know it’s where I am supposed to be at this time.  Connecting with myself, connecting with Spirit, grounding the new energy.

There is a lot of new energy coming into this world and I know since I am more sensitive to it now, I’m feeling it.  It also means that in my life I’m ready for an upgrade.  To go to another level of serving.  An upgrade in my vibration.

But with that said, I don’t know what to do to step into that higher level.

I think it’s a matter of holding space for it, keeping my thoughts focused, and surrendering.  Let it happen when it’s meant to come through.

It’s happening now.

I’ve also had a real restless time sleeping the last few days.  And I notice myself clenching my teeth — not happy about that one.

Oh and last night, on my gosh, intense, intense chocolate sugar cravings.  That’s been going on this whole week — or actually maybe for a few weeks now.

And that again has to do with the new energy coming in, doing energetic work, upgrading to another level.  Sugar gives instant energy and makes you feel good.  I’m obviously, again, working at multiple dimensions.

So I’m letting it be.

Tonight I have a fun night planned, I’m going to see sea turtles lay their eggs on the beach.  I’m really excited about it.  REALLY EXCITED!  And I’ll have to take a nap during the day since it’s going on from 9:45-12 which are my getting ready for bed and sleeping hours.  Super excited.

Last night I was also, while walking, preparing myself for a partner because that’s what I want to do with my partner, take walks around the block after we eat dinner — and it’s so beautiful here during the summer at night (terribly hot during the day, but really nice early morning and night).

I am feeling that pull to move to the beach again.  That’s a source of anxiety — where am I wanting to live?  I was thinking of that place in Fort Lauderdale down by the sea and I’m not even set on that place anymore.  It’s not perfect (hehe)

And I really don’t know where I’d want to be…. although I do know I want somewhere happening, Florida feels so boring to me these days.  I feel like I’ve outgrown it.  It’s boring, there’s nothing happening here, and I want to be where things happen, yes… it’s the LA urge again.

Today I’m going to focus on cleaning up my TV treatment and getting that ready and complete.  I think I need to add some additional information to it… then I’ll file it with the copyright office.

You know, I was also thinking (again) about that video I made for my blog, the one that I didn’t tell anyone about and instead just slapped it up on the blog.  Well, that’s really random that I did that.  Any marketer out there would NOT do that.  They would at minimum — or yes, actually each time they do something new they tweet, post on facebook, send an email to their newsletter.  That’s how they move the traffic.

But I just put it up there and told no one.

So I was — am — feeling a bit embarrassing about putting it up there and saying in my video, you guys are my true followers.  That’s not even right.  I have to release that judgment of myself.. because people who are following me are doing so – or were doing so – on Facebook and I didn’t even let them know where I was going, where I would be.

So very likely there are people, who like my work, who follow me, who are saying, where’d she go?

But then again, this goes back to that other thought I always have — what’s the point of followers if they are not paying for products?  And that’s the intention here AGAIN — and it seems to be the theme of my business life for awhile.

And I know why… cause that MarryBlaire website.

I had thousands and thousands of followers, but didn’t make money from that venture, so deemed it as a “what’s the point” — and yes there were other things, wonderful things that came from it, like learning how to attract the One which was sooo key and what I wanted…

But these days, going through this a second time, which is happening now, which is about to pop off, the intention is to make money from my followers.

Again, duh, this is what business is all about.

Making money.

And of course yes, being fulfilled and helping people — but I feel I already have that down pat.

But again, I think a lot of people, again in the internet marketing and Facebook world, get caught up on looking popular online, but is it making money for them?  And if it isn’t then the truth is, you’re working for free.  Yuck.  Not a way to support yourself.  You won’t be able to…

Okay, talk to you later. Busy day.  Bye bye.