November 7, 2012

So, I’m not saying “I’m sorry” anymore when it comes to my “dirty” language.  I actually don’t think my language gets so bad, but words that are not so professional or not so classy will come out… because that’s how I talk… and that’s how I like to talk… sometimes.

Cursing feels good.  It has power.  And sometimes it’s really how I am feeling.  It gets the job done.  But there’s this part of me.  The years of programming from parents that I hear go off in my head that say “That’s not nice” or “That’s not classy” or “A young lady doesn’t speak like that.”  You know, a general dirty mouth.

And for years I held back on that talk because I did think it came off as trashy and uneducated – and I’m neither of those things.  So I stopped it.  Stopped it when around “professionals” and said whatever when I was around a close friend or lover.

But that’s not happening anymore.

I know we may not hear Oprah cursing on TV, but I’m not trying to be Oprah — I’m being me.

And I like my personality.  And I think it’s cute when certain words come out and it shows (maybe) more of my personality… and it’s really at a point that I just don’t care.  It’s who I am… at least, right now.

So I used to say “I’m sorry about my language” or “excuse my language” when I would say something “bad” but I’m not doing it anymore.

I’ve been witnessing others say those things when “bad things” come out of their mouths and I don’t want to be that person anymore.  I don’t like how the “I’m sorry” sounds.

I think it sounds weak and not in their power… and shows they second guess themselves and are not confident.  And again, this is just through my filter and my mirror so this is what I see by it….

But I’d rather just be who I am and have confidence in it.  End of story.  This is no matter what words are coming out of my mouth.  Because if I want to curse, I will curse.  If I don’t want to, then I won’t.. and there’s no need to apologize about it.  I am who I am.  I think it’s about acceptance.

And I accept myself.