November 8, 2012

I always thought I loved myself, but now I get it at on a deeper level.  I really love myself.  Like really, really.  And how do I know?  I’ll tell you…

As I was walking my dog I was thinking to myself.  Man, I love the life I am carving out for myself.  The life that I have finally given myself permission to live.  The life that I’ve dreamed of, but always thought it was off in some distant or near (depending on my mood for that day) 🙂 future.  There was always a certain goal attached to it that I needed to obtain before I was able to give myself that life I dreamed of.  But these days I’m doing it different.

These days I have different thoughts.  New thoughts.  Thoughts that are more empowered and more alive.  I take care of myself better these days.  It’s still a process but this last week I’ve been doing it.  Keeping my home clean.  Both energetically and physically.  Yes, there are still piles of paper around of things I am studying (I’m a constant learner and researcher) but overall it looks and feels pretty good in here.

Consistent with my exercise.  Sure there have been lazy days and the whole first half of this week I wasn’t too happy with myself for delaying my gym time, but I ended up going yesterday and lifting – and it was good.  The other days I’ve been taking longer walks with Magic, getting more nature time, getting more me and peaceful time and that’s all been good.

I’ve been giving myself more permission to follow my heart this week.  More seashelling time when I “should be working” – more journal time on this blog again when I “should be doing some marketing” or continuing work on the Attract The One home study course I am putting together.

But all of that can wait.  It can wait until the timing is right.  I have other options available for students who want to attract their One and now I am focused on this, my new project.

Plus other things – other gifts – in my life are popping up.  More urgent things.  More heart-felt things.

And I am in the flow, I would say 85% or more of my day.  It feels incredible.  My heart feels open, I feel happier, and I notice I am smiling and laughing more.  I am genuinely liking people (in the past I’ve gone through stages of hating humanity) 🙂

And now as I head into the evening hours, I’m looking at some recipes and I’m going to bake.  Yep, that’s right cook.  I used to like baking and I’ve tried to do it once a week here, but I never really keep to that routine.

I’m encouraged to take better care of myself.  To live my life with extreme self care.  That’s what my soul wants.  That’s what my body enjoys.  That’s what Spirit is encouraging.

So again in the past I would have put off or dilly dallied.  I would have delayed or not done it, cause there were other things to do.  Work, make money, etc.  But now I have changed.  Now I am moving Heaven and Earth to support me.  My being.  How I truly am.  And focusing my energy so that I get paid to do what I love.  To do what I do naturally.  My g-d given gifts and talents.  The care for myself.  Exercise.  Self nurturing.  Eating well.  Loving well.  This fuller life.  I am sculpting a life that I love, a life of play, passion and enjoyment.  A life that suits my needs, not a mold of what others have done before me.

It feels exciting.  A bit daring.  Possibly crazy.  But I know I’m going to get it to work.  After all, that’s what making magic is all about. 🙂