May 28, 2013

That’s what my hairstylist said to me today (this post is from yesterday)

Of course that makes me feel good.  Makes me feel liked and valuable.  I’m engaging people.  I’m interesting.  I’m sharing my heart.  People like me.

Yes, we know this.

But here’s the thing… this person stopped coming to learn from me in person beach gatherings.

Why?

I have no idea.

Something about me?  Something about them?

So that means they stopped paying me.

But still they are feeding off my energy.

I’m like that too.  I feed off some people’s energies on Facebook.  I like what they post.  Mainly it’s one person.  I read her page often.  Feeding off her energy.  I’m not paying her, although yes, I did do a private session with her — so I did pay her.  But I’m not paying her on an ongoing basis.

So obviously this continues to be a big issue for me.

About working for free.  Giving my heart, energy, wisdom for free.

Part of me has so much to share.  So much I want to share.

But then the other part of me gets angry, resentful that people are finding my work valuable and reading it… which again is good.. but then I get upset that I’m putting this energy, time, wisdom out there and not getting money back from them.

So there’s “likes” that this person can share.  Which this person does “like” my stuff.

There’s the ability to share my work to bring more people.  But that would just increase the amount of people I was frustrated by.

Haha.

So I let it go.

Stop posting.

Only post when I have to.

Off Facebook more.

I have other things to do — you know, like STOP PROCRASTINATING AND WRITE UP MY TV PITCHES.  HELLO.