January 13, 2013

I get better with what’s going on here.  I get in the flow, get in my heart, and get totally in alignment with Spirit and it comes through for me to make one of these Martin Luther King Jr videos (that’s what I’m calling the Violence/Peace video that I made and will make another one)

I get really excited about it.  Get inspiration and get in full power.  My energy grows.  Fully expanded and full of life.  I feel alive.

But then my mind will enter.  I will be in total flow, total expansion, but my mind will stop it.

It will say, “What’s going on here?  You’re talking about violence now?  How does this make sense?”

It’ll put me into confusion.

It’ll make things all hazy.  I’ll wonder what I’m supposed to do next, how this all connects with what I’m currently doing, I will start wondering about if I’m lost”

But hello!

Things have changed.  The energy has changed and trying to figure things out in my head, trying to control and make sense of it all is not the way for me anymore.

I have grown past that and each time I try to enter into the place of understanding, Spirit will bring this cloud of confusion and I’ll be stuck.

But I get it now.

I get what I’m doing (that’s not working) and I also get that for me to enter into this place of doing what I really love, what really makes my heart sing – my divine mission where I am fully serving and more than what I have been dreaming of to come true, I need to let go the trying to figure it out, trying to make sense of it, trying to explain it to others, and trying to explain it to myself.

I have seen it happen twice now and it totally kills the momentum.  Kills the joy and the passion and it makes me totally lose focus.  So stop it!  🙂

I’m going to work on my speech tomorrow and take it from there.  I will get (or at least try to) back in that space where I am in passion and purpose and focused on the current step and not ALL of the STEPS or WHERE it is leading.

That’s no longer the way and I want to stay in the flow and the place in my heart where it feels SO DAMN GOOD.