April 5, 2013

Last night, getting ready to and then teaching on the beach was so wonderful.  And as I was talking, so much clarity was coming in.  All the pieces of the puzzle were coming together.  (Funny enough, and by no coincidence at all, this was the information I was teaching about last night).

About following the signs – — about connecting the pieces of the puzzle — about how the spiritual path is such an incredible magical experience – and about how we’re at a point here, an opportunity to take our spiritual growth and healing (our practice) deeper by making a stronger commitment to what we want in our life.  Where we want to be going.

And as I was talking, it was all coming together for me.  (Some of those pieces of the puzzle I was teaching about) — was that my people were finally gathering.  My people.  People who I deeply understand and people who deeply understand me.  People who I feel totally happy and excited to see.  People who I enjoy being around.  People who make me laugh.  And people who I can totally and completely be myself around.  That last part was the huge healing part for me.

This whole week my heart has been buzzing.  Hard to explain it any other way.  It’s been throbbing.  ACTIVATED.  And it feels so good.  This has been happening for awhile now, on and off — but this week my angels kept pointing it out to me – again and again how it keeps happening.

I am so in joy.

And the thing that I want to stress in this post — as there have been so many things coming into awareness this week which I will post about after this one — is that I FINALLY FEEL LIKE I BELONG.

I feel I am on the edge – just stepping into that sweet spot of “this is what I’m supposed to be doing” — “these are my people” — “and I belong.”

This is something I’m going to have to think about longer today.  The feeling like I belong.

That’s so incredibly healing and soothing to my soul.  It brings tears to my eyes.

I have searched for this feeling my whole life.  Searched without knowing I was searching for it.

I’ve just always been annoyed by people — hated people — frustrated by people — angry at people — hated people for not caring about me like I care about them — hated people for hurting my feelings — hated people for not thinking before they do something — hated people for leaving me out — hated G-d for keeping me so sheltered… in a world of Spirit, myself and my dog.  I have spent years with myself.  Not a bad thing… but there was always a wondering, what’s wrong with me?  Why can’t I be like everyone else?  Why can’t I fit in?  Why don’t people understand me?  Why am I different?  Why am I weird?

And today — I feel so grateful for all of this — and of course I’ve felt gratitude for it before, because I “knew” it was for my highest good.. I knew there was light at the end of the tunnel — but that was LOGICAL knowing.  That was my mind having the information — and now I really feel it in my body. I get it now, on a deep deep level.  Why?  Because I am stepping out of it now.  I am stepping out of that “being alone” — stepping out of “being on my own” — I have found my True Self… I am doing my Divine Mission… and I am finally gathering my people.  I am finally being blessed to be surrounded by them.  And I love them so much.  They get me.  They allow me to be myself.  They love who I am.  They value what I am sharing with them.  They’re interested by me.  I belong.  It feels so good — sooo good.  And I am so grateful.  I’m just basking in this energy of today.  My heart and body feels so good.  I feel so warm.